By Alan on May 16 in Blog tagged change your attitude, clocks move much faster, eventually, figure out, get what you want, How to be patient, keep a journal, life, overcome, positive outlook, remember what matters, see the big picture, The Family, what makes you impatient, write it down | 1 Comment

It has never been easy to be patient, but it’s probably harder now than at any time in history. In a world where messages and information can be sent across the world instantly, everything is available with only a few clicks of the mouse. Fortunately, patience is a virtue that can be cultivated and nurtured over time. You will be pleasantly surprised by how relaxation and peace of mind can impact the quality of your life.

Here are FIVE STEPS you should review:

- Figure Out What Makes You Impatient

Try to figure out why you are in such a hurry. We tend to lose our patience when we’re multitasking or when we’re on a tight schedule, expecting the day to pass within (what it seems like…) only a few short minutes of busyness and chaos. If you’re stretching yourself too thin, you should reconsider your to-do list before you attempt to change your natural reaction to an overwhelming situation. Try to spread out your tasks so that you’re doing only one thing at a time, without leaving yourself twiddling your thumbs in eagerness of something to busy yourself with. Delegate responsibilities to others if you can; this in itself may be a test of your patience, but you have to learn to share the load.

Pinpoint the triggers that often influence you to lose your patience. Impatience creeps in insidiously, and if you feel anxious, worried, or unhappy you may not even realize that the underlying cause of these feelings is impatience. To reduce the frequency of impatience, it helps to be aware of it. Which events, people, phrases or circumstances always seem to influence you lose your cool? Sit down and make a list of all the things which cause you anxiety, tension, or frustration. At the core of most triggers is a reality that we have a hard time accepting. What are those realities for you?Look for patterns. Being aware of your impatience also gives you a chance to learn from it and perhaps uncover a relationship or circumstance that is simply not healthy or constructive, and that you may have the power to change. Figure that out, and you can then think logically about the problem issue and decide whether or not your impatience is warranted or helpful. It usually isn’t, but when it is you can then figure out ways to fix the root problem rather than simply feeling stressed about it.

 Write it Down

- Keep a journal.

For one to two weeks, whenever you get that rushed feeling and the sense of impatience, write down whatever it is that feeling is associated with (Example: July 1 – astronomy class). Make sure that you take notes consistently and consecutively each time the feeling occurs. You will notice that you are more aware of (and subsequently more prepared for) the feeling of impatience. You will also be able to observe the sense of impatience objectively and which events give rise to it. You may come to the conclusion that circumstances surrounding the feeling are not causing you angst – the feeling itself is. In these ways, you will be able to better control impatience when it besets you.

 - Overcoming Impatience.

In the long run, developing patience requires a change in your attitude about life, but you can immediately make progress by learning to relax whenever you feel impatient. Take a few deep breaths and just try to clear your mind.Concentrate on breathing and you’ll be able to get your bearings.

Let go if you can’t do anything about the impatience trigger. If there isn’t anything that you can do to resolve whatever has triggered your impatience, just let it go. Easier said than done, yes, but it’s possible, and it’s the only healthy thing to do. Initially, you will probably find it difficult to let go if the matter is important to you – waiting to hear back after a job interview, for instance – but you should be able to alleviate impatience that’s caused by issues of less consequence (i.e. waiting in line at the grocery store). If you make a concerted effort to be more patient in relatively inconsequential, short-term situations, you’ll gradually develop the strength to remain patient in even the most trying and enduring situations.

- See the Big Picture

Remind yourself that things take time. People who are impatient are people who insist on getting things done now and don’t like to waste time. However, some things just can’t be rushed. Think about your happiest memories. Chances are, they were instances when your patience paid off, like when you worked steadily toward a goal that wasn’t immediately gratifying, or took a little extra time to spend leisurely with a loved one. Would you have those memories if you had been impatient? Probably not. Almost anything really good in life takes time and dedication, and if you’re impatient, you’re more likely to give up on relationships, goals, and other things that are important to you. Good things may not always come to those who wait, but most good things that do come don’t come right away.

- Remember what matters.

Not focusing on what matters most in this life fuels impatience. Move the world toward peace by being kind, generous in forgiveness of others, being grateful for what is, and taking full advantage of what matters most. When other less important things fuel our impatience, taking time to remember any one of these items reduces our tendency to want something different right now.

- Always remember that you will eventually get what you want.

(This requires maturity and patience to understand and accept!)

If you work hard at something, this may be the truth, but most of the time you have to be patient to get what you want. For others, this may come as easy, but the only thing that matters is that you know how to occupy yourself, even in the dead of times. Just remember, patience is a mental skill that you will never forget, so cherish patience as a major step for you in life. Impatience is something not to be proud of, but something that you should attempt to train yourself out of, before it is something that overthrows your life.

- Always have a positive outlook in life.

Being always positive is very imperative as possessing a sense of patience. Remember that life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Step Back

- Expect the unexpected.

Yes, you have plans, but things don’t always work out as planned. Accept the twist and turns in life gracefully. Keep your expectations realistic. This applies not only to circumstances, but also the behavior of those around you. If you find yourself blowing up over your child or your spouse accidentally spilling a drink, you’re not in touch with the fact that people aren’t perfect. Even if the occasion is not an isolated incident but is instead caused by their repeated neglect and carelessness, losing your patience isn’t going to make it any better. That’s something to be addressed with discussion and self-control.

- Give yourself a break.

The meaning of this is twofold.

First, take a few minutes to do absolutely nothing. Just sit quietly and think. Don’t watch television; don’t even read. Do nothing. It may be hard at first, and you may even feel impatient after a minute or two, but by taking some time out you can essentially slow your world down, and that’s important to develop the attitude necessary to develop patience.

Second, stop holding yourself and the world around you to unreachable standards. Sure, we’d all be more patient if babies didn’t cry, dishes didn’t break, computers didn’t crash, and people didn’t make mistakes – but that’s never going to happen. Expecting the world to run smoothly is like beating your head against the wall. Give yourself a break!

Strengthening The Family

By Alan on Apr 10 in Blog tagged Alan Osmond, diligence, fear God, fear man, fight, focus, FREE Newsletter, Get NoiZ, hearing impaired, heavenly parents, in charge, intelligence, Jesus Christ, Life is T.U.F.F., M.S., military, multiple sclerosis, noisy, Osmond Brothers, patience, Plan of Life, Power to choose, real challenge, say my prayers, scriptorian, scriptures, sin, Target, the resurrection, trophies, understand, Vietnam, Weakness, write it down, you can do it | 3 Comments

TheFamily.com publishes a FREE Newsletter Monthly Newsletter called, “GET NOIZ” (Noisy).

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We offer a FREE NEWSLETTER to help “Strengthen The Family” in several ways: Physically, Mentally, Socially, Spiritually, and Financially.

Here is a sample of one of our Newsletters from Last Month:

Subject: GET NOI-Z (Noisy) NEWSLETTER
Date: Saturday, March 31, 2012 11:15 

‘LET’S TURN THE WORLD AROUND’

Life is T.U.F.F. but, So Are YOU!

By:  Alan Osmond

Life is T.U.F.F.!  But remember, when the going gets tough, the T.U.F.F. get going!  You must be motivated and see the steps that need to be taken in order to accomplish your goals in life.   You must believe in whatever you choose to do and to always remind yourself that “You can do it!”  You must be strong with a positive mental attitude.  If you think you can’t, you won’t!  If you have the desire to achieve, you will!  Where there’s a will, there’s a way. 

Whenever I face challenges, I remember this slogan that I created as the way to accomplish it and overcome it.  See if it works for you!  This is the way:

T = Target – What is it you are trying to accomplish?  If there is one thing that you wished to do, to accomplish or become in life, what would it be?  Write it down and make that your TARGET!

U = Understand – To achieve your target, you need to UNDERSTAND all you can about it.  Identify what it is and what the various factors that are involved; what needs to be done to affectively put it into your grasp so that you can achieve it?  Figure out those steps that you need to take in order to win the challenge and write them down.  Study the positive and the negative aspects of that which you are targeting so that you totally understand it and know what to do in order to take it on! 

F = Focus – Don’t just go at your target without first establishing a FOCUS point on what you are aiming to achieve.  Make a plan and a checklist of the do’s and don’ts and study it each and every day.  Besides just thinking of it, keep your eye on it and really be sure to “Rifle In” on your Target!  Do not just go at it with a “shotgun” approach.  You may only get one shot at it so never lose site or what you must do and keep your FOCUS!

F = Fight – Nothing good comes easy or without effort.  If you want something that is worth having, it will usually take a lot of effort and will be hard work to accomplish it.  So, you must FIGHT for it!

What is it that you wish to target?

-A health challenge?

-An education?

-A career or a job?

-A marriage partner?

-A great idea that you have?

Write it down!  Seeing believing!  You will then be able to visualize the steps that you have to take.  Start by following the T.U.F.F. format and fill in the details for each step.  Set goals and make in a daily effort.  Visualize it. Think about it.  Study it. Keep it in your mind!  Little by little you will accomplish those steps and with the best shot you’ve got, your Target will be accomplished with a bull’s-eye!   

It is very simple but, with patience and effort, it works!

Where in the world did I get this idea of being T.U.F.F.?  It came experiences I had in life but especially when I was told that I had Multiple Sclerosis or M.S..  I didn’t know what M.S. was and the first thing I thought it might mean, “Many Sons”!  My wife Suzanne and I were blessed to have eight sons. 

Yes, raising sons in today’s world is a real challenge but this challenge called “Multiple Sclerosis” was a physical one and the doctors didn’t know what to do to fix it!  I was in the prime of my life with a wonderful marriage and a family started plus my entertainment career was at its peak. I didn’t want this! So, instead of looking at it negatively, I asked myself,  “What is it that I am to learn?”

I first noticed that when I would walk and trip up on something, I’d look down for something like a nail or what ever it was in the floor but, nothing was there!  I also soon realized that when I played my trumpet, I couldn’t move my fingers as fast as before.  With time, my right side began to fail and would not respond as it should and it caused me to drag my right food and arm. 

With several doctors telling me “they didn’t know what it was but thought it might be M.S.”, and telling me that “nothing they knew could reverse it”, I realized I was facing this challenge alone with my wife and my family.  That’s when after many sincere prayers and fasting that I came up with the idea of being T.U.F.F. with a plan to achieve my goal of getting better.  I first started a positive approach by establishing an attitude in my mind and my heart by saying, “I may have M.S. but, M.S. does NOT have me!”  Other ways of dealing with it came with time.

What took place over the next while was in realizing that besides having a positive outlook on this health challenge, I needed a plan of attack, and I needed to be tough!  That is when the idea of T.U.F.F. came into my mind as I analyzed the steps that I needed to take in order to overcome my health weakness.  Over time with determination and a positive attitude It seemed to be working!  I changed my style of eating to mostly organic and healthy foods.  I worked at walking with a focus on picking my leg up and I “talked to those muscles” that wouldn’t respond.  I kept an open mind with a prayer in y heart and promised that I would do anything my Lord would ask of me to be able to live happily with my wife Suzanne and my eight sons and family who love me.

I was the oldest of our singing group, The Osmond Brothers, when my brothers Wayne, Merrill, and Jay, and I, and then Donny, were growing up.  We were at a very young age to be on stage with a weekly national television show called The Andy Williams Show.   Later on, my sister Marie and youngest brother Jimmy also joined the group.  Our father said to us boys when we were rehearsing, that there needed to be one person in charge of the group and that I was the leader and the “boss”.  I hated being call the boss and to have to be in charge of my brothers.  They didn’t like it either but, it taught me many things about being responsible and in making sure that we all accomplished what we were sipposed to do while getting along with each other and making it fun.  There had to be order and I was in charge.  It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was also pretty tough!  Besides that, my two oldest brothers, Virl and Tom were hearing impaired or deaf and often I would hear my parents say, “Alan, go get your brothers!”

I remembered when I turned nineteen and I got my orders to  report to Fort Ord, California for active infantry training or boot camp, and to be trained as a soldier in the army during the time of the Vietnam War.  I knew then that if I was going to succeed and become the best soldier I could, that I had better learn and remember all that I was taught and to do what I was supposed to do as it may someday save my life.  It was hard work and it was almost was like they were brain washing us with what was expected of us during the war.  It was so different from my civilian life and some of my fellow soldiers couldn’t take it.  Staying positive was most important while always remaining tough myself.  

I had never been away from my family like this before and for the first time I was on my own.  You know it reality hits you hard when you don’t have that support system around you of loving parents and family members who stand by your side.   Everything I did while I was in the military I tried to do well and to be the very best at it as I knew I was on my own.

The first day I was there in the army barracks, I heard more foul language and stories that I wish I had never heard.  I realized that I needed to fit in with the other guys but to always be who I was.  That night, I had a moment to prove it.  The lights in the barracks were turned off, I laid in my bunk bed in a room filled with strangers that I had never known before.  It was then that I realized that I hadn’t said my prayers of thanks to my Heavenly Father as I always do.  I always knelt down beside my bed at night and offered my prayers.  I hesitated thinking that these guys would all make fun of me and I didn’t want to stand out but to “fit in”.  Just then, it was almost like a voice within me that said, “Do you fear man. . . or do you fear God?”  I knew what I had to do and so I jumped out of my bunk and knelt down on the floor and said my prayers.  It was probably the shortest prayer I have ever said but I said it!  Before I could get back into my bunk bed I heard someone say, “Hey Osmond, say one for me!” 

The next morning I was approached by several of those “tough talking” guys that asked me what I believed and what happens to someone if they died.  With us facing this war, it was definitely on everyone’s mind and in their hearts.  It was then that I had the opportunity to teach them some gospel principles of faith in Jesus Christ and His ‘Plan of Life’ with life for all after death.  It brought several of us much closer together.

That period of time was really challenging for me

 but I was successful and ended up receiving three basic training award trophies as a soldier.  After completing my active infantry training,  I received the highest grade on the overall testing, the highest scoring on the rifle marksmanship shooting skills test, and I was voted by all of the military training staff as The Outstanding Trainee.  I had no idea they gave trophies for doing what I did, but I got them.  The best thing that happened though was when the loudest and foulest mouth guy who became our platoon sergeant came to me before we got our orders to go to Viet Nam.  He said, “Osmond, can I talk to you?  … Alone?”  I said, “Yes”, and we went int the empty barracks. He said to me, “You really believe that there is someone up there don’t you? (Meaning that therer is a God.) I said, “Yes”.  He said, “Oh I wish I knew somebody loved me.  When I was five years old, my Dad made me go out and steal money and stuff just so I could stay at home.” (I listened and just let him talk.)  He said, “Would you teach me to pray?” I said, “Sure”, and explained a simple way to approach prayer. I then told him I would say one first to show him how, and then he could say one.  I did and then it was his turn.  He said a simple yet touching prayer and became somewhat emotional.  We stood up and he gave me a bear hug and said, “Now, I can go to “Nam”!   These were some of the experiences that I related to when I came up with a way to achieve my new challenges and goals and in being T.U.F.F.!

I come from a family heritage of school teachers and educators on my Mother’s side of the family (Olive May Davis), and a strong, driving, hard working and a ‘never give up’ style from my Father, George V. Osmond, and his side of the family whose life had always been one of hard work but with a “you can do it” attitude.  In fact, when I was doing my physical test in the army to see if we could run a mile in full battle gear in under 6:00 minutes. I was running as hard as I could and I felt like I was going to die.  I kept pushing hard and came in second place just behind a fast running athlete soldier.  You see, it was then that I had remembered my Father’s slogan “You Can Do It!” . .  … and I did!

My Mother, Olive Osmond,  who was also a theologian and knew the scriptures very well,
taught us about God’s plan of life.  She taught us much about gospel truths and about the beliefs of various other religions.  In knowing and understanding this, and as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, (Mormons) I studied and developed a burning testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ.  My mother also instilled into me her positive attitude and desire to gain as much truth and knowledge as I could by reading from the best books.  She love to read and taught us the scripture that supported her thinking like this scripture says, “Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection.  And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come.” D&C 130: 18-19 

She explained to us that knowledge is more about the information of many things but that intelligence is the knowledge of those spiritual things that are eternal and that are good yesterday, today and forever.   This understanding became a guide for me to follow in deciding which books I chose to read and which movies and entertainment I would go and see and for those choices that I targeted to understand and know.  

So, when you think of something that you want to accomplish and “Target” to achieve, I hope you will ask yourself if it is a worthy goal and worth your time.  Is it something that will be long lasting and become significant enough in that it makes you a better person and which fulfills your life long dreams and ambitions as well as sets the course for your eternal existence?

One thing we all have is the “Power To Choose” ; to make decisions and choices of our own free will and choice.  Those choices that we make in life, we will be held responsible and held accountable.  This is why good principles are important in one’s life.  When lived, they will influence you in the kinds of choices and decisions you will make in your life.

Your good choices will probably take a definite amount of time and effort on your part and will  require some extensive work as well.  But that is okay!  This is why we are here in this life; to learn and to grow.  We are told that the Glory of God is intelligence and if we attain more truth and knowledge in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection.  So it’s an investment in you and your future!

To summarize:

 ”As Spirit children of God, we all left our Heavenly Parents to come to this world to prove ourselves. A veil covered our momories which was necessary so we could exercise our agency to choose good or evil without our Heavenly Parents influence.  Our earthly parents gave us a body of flesh and bones and we learned the purpose for us to progress in order to have a fulness of joy. We learned that we would be deceived, choose other paths, and lose our way; that we would have trials in our lives like sickness, disappointment, pain, sorrow and death. We understood that these would be given to us for our experience and for our good and that these trials would purify us rather than defeat us. They would teach us to have endurance, patience, and charity.  (To be T.U.F.F.)

We also learned that because of our weakness, all of us except little children would sin.  We learned that a Savior would be provided for us so we could overcome our sins and overcome death with resurrection.  We learned that by placing our faith in Him, obeying His word and following His example, we would be resurrected, exalted, and become more like our Heavenly parents and live forever!   That’s when we receive a fulness of joy!  

That is God’s Plan of Life.

So… “Let’s Be T.U.F.F.” and ‘GET NOI-Z’ (Noisy) FOR GOOD because it is WORTH IT!

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