strengthining families
By Alan on Oct 19 in Blog tagged ACN, ACN TV, Alan Osmond, bonuses, Certified Team Trainers, Charolette, CTR, Customer, entertainment business, Family, Financially, Hollywood Walk of Fame, I May have M.S., IBO, income, Independent Business Owner, M.S., M.S. does NOT have me, money, N.C., ON, Osmond Brothers, Osmond Network, services, strengthening the family, Suzanne Osmond, The Family, time, work, works, you can do it | Comments Off
I remember when we were young and wanted to sing and perform. Our father who had been an army sergeant and who lived a hard and tough childhood said, “You can do it!” And we did!

By Alan on Sep 01 in Blog tagged act, acted upon, all men, all things, America, ancient promise, bad, blessings, commandments, constitution, covenants, creation, death, faith, founding, founding fathers, from God, from the beginning, God, good, gospel destiny, hand of the Lord, happiness, holiness, insensible, judgments, just, Keep Commandments, land of promise, latter-day, life, life and death, messiah, miracles, misery, New Israel, no creation, no God, no happiness, no law, no misery, no punishment, no righteousness, no sin, oaths, opposites, opposition, promises, restoration, righteousness, sense, so will God, The American Covenat, this nation, unbelief, vanish away, wickedness, works | Comments Off

By Alan on Jul 19 in Blog tagged bad, cold, darkness, faith, God, God Versus Science, good, hatred, health, hot, immorality, Jesus, light, old, right wrong, Satan, Science, sickness, The Family, ugliness, works, young | Comments Off
Another Question:By Alan on Apr 16 in Blog tagged adolescents, boys, BYU, child, communicate, dad, daughters, emotion, example, Family, Father, fathering, feelings, friends, girl, hazerdous, hero, independent, mom, needs, One Heart, relationship, rewarding, sit down, Son, talk, teenagers, Today, trust, works, youth | Comments Off
TheFamily.com has a working relationship with BYU’s School of Family Life, and a group called ‘Father Work‘ and have invited them to join us here with some of their content. They are “Of One Heart” in “Strengthening Families”..
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Stories
Many fathers mention time as an important aspect of fathering adolescents, not just time spent with their teenagers but time made available for them by their children. One father notes that one of the most meaningful areas in his relationship with his daughter is his availability to sit down and communicate with her about whatever she wants to talk about.
Snarey (1993, p. 161) suggests that nurturant father-daughter relationships facilitate healthy social and emotional development of the daughter. These stories illustrate how Chris and his daughter Elizabeth have become emotionally close during these times, demonstrating the need for relationship work during adolescence.
“There have been times when she has had some problems. It would take her a long while to get around to talking to me, but sometimes she did sit down and we would talk–not that I came to any conclusions. I think she came to more of the conclusions on her own regarding the problems that she had. But I was there just to talk with her and listen. Again, those seem to be the special times that she and I have had.
“Now when she wants to know something, it’s mainly about boys. My two older daughters want to know why boys are the way they are. I ask, “What do you mean?” And so they bring up a particular instance, and so I have to sit down with both of them and say, “Well, they come from a different background than I do. The way they’re feeling about things might be entirely different.
“But, here are some of the things that I went through at that age.” I let them come up with their own conclusions at that point because I don’t know what he’s thinking! Every once in a while she still has problems and will come and talk, and we talk them through. Those are special times. They are also very personal times. I would say that those are the times I really feel close to my daughters.”
Snarey (1993, p. 277) suggests that men who had active fathers are more likely to be active with their own children. One father told about his experience of having a dad that was always there for him.
“He’s always been there. I’ll just always remember him as being there, no matter what. We were in a state championship game in football and it came down to a last-second field goal. I was the field goal kicker and I missed it. I went home and was going to go with some friends somewhere. Dad was out cutting wood and feeding the horses, and I went and talked to him. He just said, “Well, sometimes you do and sometimes you don’t.” I could always talk to Dad and tell him anything, no matter what I did, whether it was wrong or right. I could always tell Dad, and he always stood behind me.
Trust is very important in a relationship, especially a parent-child relationship. The following is a story about a man who was not trusted by his father and what that meant to him:
“We were cleaning up in the back yard, a Saturday activity for everyone (or else), and I walked toward the garbage can. The garbage can was on the corner of the garage and at the garbage can I saw a dime. I got it and was happy to see it, and the next thing I knew [my father] was there questioning me where I got it. I said, “I found it out on the garbage can.” I don’t remeber exactly what he said, but it was basically, “You’re a liar. Tell me the truth–where did you come up with this?” I guess that hurt quite a bit….Painful things stand out. I think it’s disbelief. Why doesn’t a parent believe what a child is saying? I hear it in myself.
Biller (1993, p.76) suggests that if the father has a warm relationship with his children, they will be more likely to respond positively to many dimensions of his behavior, such as his moral tenets and patterns of relating to others. Adolescents who are searching for an identity will pattern their lives after those whom they trust. Teenagers watch their parents closely in looking for values and standards. Jeff, a father in New Zealand, recalls his father’s example to him and his brothers. This story illustrates mentoring work, as the father passes to his children morals he holds to be important.
“He always taught us to be honest. One time I remember that there was someone that he was working for that wanted a bunch of extra things done, so my dad did the work. Later, when Dad charged him for it, the guy said that he wouldn’t pay–and then his wife got in on it. She said no, that my dad had quoted a different price, but she didn’t take into account all of this other work, so they didn’t pay. That guy was a mechanic. My dad had some of his cars being worked on in his shop.
“After the guy had worked on them, this lady from the shop called and said that they hadn’t charged us enough and it would be an extra forty or so dollars. My brother and I were really brassed off [upset] because we thought that, well, he wasn’t paying his bill–why should we pay them? My dad said no, that it was up to us to be the honest ones and pay. I think we went down there and paid the money. That guy never did pay us back for the extra work. And yet, my dad said that it was not for us to judge that guy and that, if we pay, the Lord would help us.”
Snarey (1993, p.157) suggests that fathers continue to be models for their adolescent children even though these children are trying to become independent of their parents. When both the father and the mother are actively involved parents, their child is much more likely to develop into a socially and morally mature adult (Biller, 1993, p.76). Being active in the lives of children is an important element ofrelationship work, as these next three stories show. Shawn, a father of two, shares an experience when his father helped him see the importance of telling the truth.
“I remember coming home after being out with some friends; I’d had a little bit to drink. . . . Mother always waited up for me and Dad slept. If Mom ever mentioned anything bad, he’d wake right up. If Mom said, “Have you been doing this–?” then I’d hear, “What?” coming from Dad’s side of the bed. Although I can’t remember the details of that night very well, I do remember that I felt more tension than I ever had felt between Dad and me. Dad left for work at about 6:00 the next morning, as usual.
“As I was about to leave for school, Mom said, “Make sure you come home right after school because your Dad wants to talk to you.” The worst thing about it was that at first, when they’d asked me the night before if I’d been drinking, I had said, “no.” Then I’d started thinking about ways that I was going to get out of telling the truth, but I’d realized I couldn’t, so I’d just decided to tell them what really happened. I remember the disappointment.”
“When I got home from school that afternoon, he hadn’t come home yet. It was the longest half-hour I’ve ever waited in my life. He came home, went in and gave Mom a kiss and talked to Mom, then said, “Mark, come in the room.” He didn’t ask me why I had been drinking; instead he simply said, “Why did you lie to me?” Those were his first words. “Why did you lie to me?” I wasn’t ready for that question.
“That’s all he wanted to know, and I felt like the biggest heel right then. It wasn’t so much the drinking; it was that I had lied to him. That’s probably the farthest away that I’ve ever felt from him, doing that–lying to him. I hope he taught me a lesson there–to always tell the truth, no matter what the circumstance may be. Hopefully, when my kids come to me and tell me the truth, I won’t act in a way so that they won’t want to tell their dad the truth.”
The following is a story of a father who learned how he wished to discipline his children by an experience he had with his own father:
“He slapped me once. I can’t even remember what I said, but we were in the car and I mouthed something back at him. He slapped me in the face. What I remember is how awful that was. It was more devastating than any ten spankings he’d ever given me in my life. It was very personal, being in my face, and he had never done that before. I guess I must have just pushed him right over the edge, but I learned something from that which you didn’t have to draw out of me….It is not worth what it does.
“I’m not faulting him for doing it either. There have been times that I’ve wanted to slap my kids. I don’t think that he was really being a bad father, but I understood something about what it felt like to be on the receiving end of that which made me not want to do it to mine.”
Fathers can be an emotional support to their teenagers by being there in those times when they are needed most. Some fathers recall times when they needed their fathers’ support and it wasn’t there.
“I remember a time when I felt emotionally distant from my father. . . I’m not sure if he was aware that I knew of the situation. It was a case, because of the things that I was involved in, that somebody had the audacity to go to my father and tell him that I was gay. My father did nothing. He didn’t say anything. He never said anything to me, but he didn’t say anything to the guy, and that made me feel like he didn’t really care one way or the other what people said about me, and didn’t really know me at all. In those times if you were into drama, dancing and those things you had to be gay.
“Something had to be wrong with you. So something was definitely wrong and you had to get a little hassled. The thing was that the man had the nerve to say it to my father, not to someone else on the side but directly to him, and then sit there and laugh about it. And my father did nothing. I remember that particular thing because it hurt me and it made me feel like maybe I was adopted, or maybe he just didn’t care for me. And the other thing is maybe he believed it.”
One father, Shawn, tells of an experience when his father was there to support him and how he felt about it. This story illustrates the power of recreation work, as Shawn’s father took time to support him outside of his father’s daily routine.
“The one (experience) that sticks out was when I was wrestling in high school. I was going for the state championship. He and all my brothers were there– there are six boys in the family, so there were five boys there with dad. You wrestle with all these other guys all year round, but he was there when I won. I didn’t care about everybody else– dad was there.”
One of the most challenging things about fathering a teenager is dealing with their growing desire for independence. Fathers often provide support for a child’s developing autonomy (Parke, 1996, p.144). A father shares his experience when his 16-year-old daughter decided it was time for her to leave home. This story illustrates development work, as the father adapts to the changing needs of his daughter.
“Parenting adolescents has been a challenge for me, but that hardly makes me unique. A couple of years ago my daughter Kathy, our oldest child, began chafing against parental monitoring and guidance. Nothing too unusual here. She was 15. Over time we gave her more and more “slack, ” eventually getting down to a couple of basic rules: let us know where you are and who you are with, let us know when we can expect you back, call if you’re going to be late, and “be good.”
“We thought these were very minimal and reasonable rules, but it wasn’t enough for her; she needed to be on her own, completely unfettered by parental ties. We asked her if she thought other parents were more lenient than hers. She said all that she knew were stricter, but she still needed to have her freedom. She just had to be on her own.
“The summer after her sophomore year in high school, she moved out and into a home with an adult friend and her husband (they have no children). We didn’t approve, but we could see that saying no would really sour our relationship with her. It was hard to say good-bye, even though she still lives close; we had thought we would have more time with her. It’s been especially hard on her mother, who grew up in much more challenging circumstances and didn’t get much parenting or have many of the advantages Kathy enjoyed.
“I’ve learned first-hand about the process of adolescent autonomy, parental separation, and an emptying nest. I’ve learned that the timing of this process isn’t necessarily predictable and can be sooner than you think, leaving you unprepared. I think we made a good decision, and Kathy seems to be doing well, although it’s harder to know all that’s going on in her life now.
“I guess I’ve learned that children grow up on different timetables and with different needs and desires. Parents need to respect them. Although we wish we had more time with her, we now realize that parents shouldn’t assume a fixed amount of time (18 years) to rear their children before launching. We hope letting her go will preserve a good relationship so that she will still come to us, physically and emotionally, in the future. That seems to be happening somewhat already.”
Sometimes a little humor can be the best way to work with teenagers.
“One day my Dad was working on the car I usually drove. He came inside wearing his work overalls, and I asked him how it was going. He said it was going fine, but he had to go to the store and get something to finish up. I said, “You’re not going to the store looking like that…how embarrassing! You look like a geek. Don’t tell anyone you’re my Dad.” I was kind of joking but I did think it would be embarrassing if he ran into someone I knew. A few minutes later he came out of his room with home-made signs taped to his front and back that said “I’m a geek” and “I’m Kimberlie’s Dad.”
“He got in the car and was leaving and I was laughing. I was a little embarrassed but it also made me realize how dumb it was to worry about my friends knowing he was my Dad, even when he looked like a geek. I’m glad I could have a good, fun relationship with my Dad.”
Many times fathers do things they regret later. The following is a story of a father who learned from what he felt was a mistake:
“I know that self esteem is our most fragile commodity. So much of what we do as parents destroys self esteem “–clean up your room, it’s such a mess.” “–why did you only get a C in your math?” – etc. I will never forget when we were going to Philmont Scout Ranch to participate in the LDS scouter training. We had six of our children in the car with us. Mike (15) had bought a cowboy hat. He was pleased with himself in the hat. I thought he looked dumb–perhaps I was embarrassed. Well, I put him down over it, multiple times. I very much regret this….Now I deal so differently with the gang in similar situations. I try to be sensitive as to how I act over clothes or things that are important to them.”
Conclusion
FatherWork can be especially challenging when it involves teenage children who are stretching their wings towards greater independence. During these years, generative fathers can be the wind beneath the wings of their adolescent children as they fly farther and farther from the nest exploring a world full of opportunities and dangers. As teenagers search for a stable identity and choose a personal value system, fathers may feel unnoticed and distant from their teenagers. But as fathers work to build a strong and trusting relationship through the early years and continue to tell their maturing youth they love them, their teenagers will sense that quiet wind lifting their youthful wings and appreciate its strength and guidance. Although fathers walk a step behind their teenages during these years, their children can still recognize their dads as one of the true heroes in their lives.
More metaphors about fathering
By Alan on May 20 in Daily Inspiration tagged character, commitment, discipline, The Family, theFamily, what made you sccessful, works | Comments Off

By Alan on Feb 13 in Blog tagged church, death, destiny, heaven, mansions, paradise, works | Comments Off
After we die, we go to Paradise or Heaven…then what?
Yes, Jesus died so that ALL may live again!
But is Faith alone going to get you to your destiny? NO!
This is what so many Churches teach today! You will wish that you had read more and investigated further the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ!
James 2:19 Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble.
20 But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?
And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God.
24 Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only.
26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.
James 1: 22 But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.
23 For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass:
24 For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was.
25 But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.
What you do in this life (your WORKS) are vital to your progression towards Eternal Life!
Ephesians 2:8
8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
10 For we are his worksmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.
By Alan on Jan 22 in Blog tagged abominable church, Abraham, Alan Osmond, all my words, Bible More Bible, Book of Mormon, books, conspiring men, covenant, devil, Gentiles, Great and Dreadful day, I Am God, Israel, Jesus, jews, Joseph Smith, marvelous work, mother of harlots, Nephi, one nation, peace, publisher of peace, religion, REmember His Seed, restore, Satan, second coming, ten tribes, the way, Thomas S. Monson, truth, wicked, works, written, Zion | 4 Comments

1But behold, there shall be many—at that day when I shall proceed to do a marvelous work among them, that I may remember my covenants which I have made unto the children of men, that I may set my hand again the second time to recover my people, which are of the house of Israel;
2And also, that I may remember the promises which I have made unto thee, Nephi, and also unto thy father, that I would remember your seed; and that the words of your seed should proceed forth out of my mouth unto your seed; and my words shall hiss forth unto the ends of the earth, for a standard unto my people, which are of the house of Israel;
3And because my words shall hiss forth—many of the Gentiles shall say: A Bible! A Bible! We have got a Bible, and there cannot be any more Bible.
4But thus saith the Lord God: O fools, they shall have a Bible; and it shall proceed forth from the Jews, mine ancient covenant people. And what thank they the Jews for the Bible which they receive from them? Yea, what do the Gentiles mean? Do they remember the travails, and the labors, and the pains of the Jews, and their diligence unto me, in bringing forth salvation unto the Gentiles?
5O ye Gentiles, have ye remembered the Jews, mine ancient covenant people? Nay; but ye have cursed them, and have hated them, and have not sought to recover them. But behold, I will return all these things upon your own heads; for I the Lord have not forgotten my people.
6Thou fool, that shall say: A Bible, we have got a Bible, and we need no more Bible. Have ye obtained a Bible save it were by the Jews?
7Know ye not that there are more nations than one? Know ye not that I, the Lord your God, have created all men, and that I remember those who are upon the isles of the sea; and that I rule in the heavens above and in the earth beneath; and I bring forth my word unto the children of men, yea, even upon all the nations of the earth?
8Wherefore murmur ye, because that ye shall receive more of my word? Know ye not that the testimony of two nations is a witness unto you that I am God, that I remember one nation like unto another? Wherefore, I speak the same words unto one nation like unto another. And when the two nations shall run together the testimony of the two nations shall run together also.
9And I do this that I may prove unto many that I am the same yesterday, today, and forever; and that I speak forth my words according to mine own pleasure. And because that I have spoken one word ye need not suppose that I cannot speak another; for my work is not yet finished; neither shall it be until the end of man, neither from that time henceforth and forever.
10Wherefore, because that ye have a Bible ye need not suppose that it contains all my words; neither need ye suppose that I have not caused more to be written.
11For I command all men, both in the east and in the west, and in the north, and in the south, and in the islands of the sea, that they shall write the words which I speak unto them; for out of the books which shall be written I will judge the world, every man according to their works, according to that which is written.
13And it shall come to pass that the Jews shall have the words of the Nephites, and the Nephites shall have the words of the Jews; and the Nephites and the Jews shall have the words of the lost tribes of Israel; and the lost tribes of Israel shall have the words of the Nephites and the Jews.
. . . . . . . .
We are living in a “Great and Dreadful Day”! A day when “… the Gentiles do stumble exceedingly, because of the most plain and precious parts of the gospel of the Lamb which have been kept back by that abominable church, which is the mother of harlots, saith the Lamb—I will be merciful unto the Gentiles in that day, insomuch that I will bring forth unto them, in mine own power, much of my gospel, which shall be plain and precious, saith the Lamb.” 1 Ne. 13: 34
So why do I publish this information to all of you? To create hate among other religions? To say that we have the truth and you don’t? NO!I say keep the truth that you now have with whatever religion you belong and seek to find further “TRUTH and LIGHT ” to add to what you already have!
I publish this to share TRUTH and to bring you “PEACE” in knowing that our Lord Jesus Christ, the God of this World, is “The Way” and that His works will NOT be frustrated by the wicked. He remembers each and every one of us and will be returning to us once again to set this world in order and to once again bring about ZION , and will reign for a thousand years with us in peace and love.
Here is a promise from the Lord:
As the scriptures remind us:
“And blessed are they who shall seek to bring forth my Zion at that day, for they shall have the gift and the power of the Holy Ghost; and if they endure unto the end they shall be lifted up at the last day, and shall be saved in the everlasting kingdom of the Lamb; and whoso shall publish peace, yea, tidings of great joy, how beautiful upon the mountains shall they be. 1 Ne. 13: 24
“I give thanks to my Lord Jesus Christ for restoring His Church once again on this earth and to make known the truth of all things to His latter-day Prophet, Joseph Smith, and for our living prophet today, Thomas S. Monson, with his councilors, The Twelve Apostles, and all others who lead and direct us having received the authority of The Holy Melchezidek Priesthood from Jesus Christ to guide us in these latter days!
I especially love all of those missionaries who have given and continue to give of themselves at their own cost to serve as ambassadors of Jesus Christ in taking this PEACE and GOOD NEWS to all Nations, Kindreds, Tongues and People like you and me!
Please take the time to listen, to ask questions, to read The Book of Mormon which came forth in our day to help us know of all things that we must do to return to our Heavenly Father in His highest Mansion in Heaven once again!
Your Friend and Brother,
Alan Osmond
For The Family
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D&C 68:4 …they shall speak when moved upon by the Holy Ghost shall be scripture
2 Nephi 29:11 …I command all men, both in the east and in the west, and in the north, and in the south, and in the islands..
Articles of Faith 1:8 …We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.
D&C 20:9 …contains a record of a fallen people, and the fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ to the Gentiles and to the Jews also;
D&C 42:12 …principles of my gospel, which are in the Bible and the Book of Mormon, in the which is the fulness of the gospel.
D&C 135:3 …Joseph Smith, the Prophet and Seer of the Lord, has done more, save Jesus only, for the salvation of men in this world,
D&C 1:11–12 …the voice of the Lord is unto the ends of the earth, that all that will hear may hear: Prepare ye, prepare ye for that which is to come, for the Lord is nigh;
D&C 1:37 …Search these commandments, for they are true and faithful, and the prophecies andpromises which are in them shall all be fulfilled.
Articles of Faith 1:9 …We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.
Additional Scriptures
• 1 Nephi 14:20–26 (prophets commanded to write)
• 1 Nephi 19:1–3, 6–7; Alma 37:1–8 (great worth of scriptures)
• 2 Nephi 33:10 (scriptures testify of Christ)
• Alma 29:8 (Lord speaks to all nations through scriptures)
• Alma 31:5; Helaman 3:29–30 (the word of God is powerful)
• Helaman 15:7–8 (scriptures lead us to be firm and steadfast in the faith)
• 2 Timothy 3:16–17; 1 Nephi 19:21–24 (why and how scriptures are given)
• 2 Peter 1:20; Alma 13:20; D&C 10:62 (scriptures bring to light true points of doctrine)
• D&C 128:18; Articles of Faith 1:9; 1 Nephi 14:25–26 (scriptures yet to come)
• 2 Nephi 29:3–10 (scriptures to Jews and to Gentiles)
By Alan on Jan 13 in Blog tagged blaanket, cold, Cough, deep, Essential Oils, feet, pharmacy, sick, souls, Suzanne, uncontrollable, Vicks, works | Comments Off
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From Marlon Snow
For The Family
By Alan on Oct 12 in Videos tagged America, faith, hope, Kennedy, Kennedy. pioneer, latter-day, Mormon, murder, persecuted, pioneers, remember, strength, succeed, Tabernacle, victims, works, world | Comments Off