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By Alan on Aug 28 in Blog tagged abortion, answers, birth rate, breakdown, broken marriages, catastrophes, challenges, commandments, darkness, don't you see, drugs, ears to hear, everlasting, eyes to see, God, happiness, Jesus Christ, learn, missing parts, money, must know, Other Books, other sheep, precious parts, promises, prophecies, read, revelations, sex, spirit, The Family, the way, truth | 1 Comment
By Alan on Feb 12 in Blog tagged addictions, alchohol, beliefs, commandments, compass, drugs, Jesus Christ, laws of God, Lord, moral, Moses, movies, opposite, pornography, profanity, religion, right, sex, sin, society, standards, television, the Last Days, The Osmonds, troubled times, wrong | Comments Off
LISTEN: The Last Days
By Alan on Aug 07 in Blog tagged America, become, Bible, candidates, cannot give up, Christian, civilizations, constitution, entertainment industry, God, gospel, government, hatemongers, history, Holy Trinity, Jesus Christ, marriage, mock, monkeys, moral, moral standards, new nation, outnumbered, religious, saving, self-destruction, sex, Supreme Court, ten commandments, worth it | 1 Comment
Sexual quality of the relationship was rated 15 percent better
Communication was rated 12 percent better
By Alan on Mar 28 in Blog tagged Alan Osmond, children of God, creator, Drivers License Taken Away, earth, eternal life, everlasting darkness, forever, forgive, forgive them, good or evil, Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, judged, laugh, multiply and replenisg, physical body, policeman, return home, sacred powers, sex, sexual powers, stopped or damned, tests, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, The Movie Man, the natural man, The Plan, worlds without number | 1 Comment
For The Familiy
A new BYU study, published in the American Psychological Association’s Journal of Family Psychology, shows that those ideas are not supported by research — and that includes people of all ages, races and religious backgrounds.
“So many people think that sexual compatibility must be one of the first things figured out,” said Dean Busby, BYU professor and lead author on the study. “However, we didn’t find any benefit to early sexual involvement.”
In fact, researchers came to find that sexual timing in relationships has a large effect on the quality of relationships and overall satisfaction. They concluded that individuals who waited until marriage to have sex experienced more satisfaction, stability and better communication in relationships.
For members of the Church, the concept of waiting to have sex until marriage isn’t new — the commandment is an eternal principle encouraged from a young age and emphasized in the youth programs of the Church and the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet.
The newly published research shows some of the other benefits — more than the spiritual — that come from abstinence until marriage.
“The research supports it from a different angle,” Brother Busby said. “That was part of our hope … makes people think maybe there is more to this commandment to be with one person. It builds relationships in very important ways and helps people make better decisions in who to marry.”
Research shows that as couples develop their relationship while delaying or refraining from sexual intimacy they are able to form foundations on communication and other social processes.
“When couples become sexual early in the relationship … other areas do not develop as well,” Brother Busby said. “Couples who wait spend time talking and sharing their life, getting to know each other in other ways, strengthening their relations and creating greater relationship satisfaction.”
Brother Busby, along with his BYU associates Jason Carroll and Brian Willoughby, started studying sexual timing at the end of 2007. More than 2,000 married individuals answered questions while participating in an online marital assessment called “RELATE” — a study that has been collecting data and conducting research on different aspects of relationships and marriage for more than 30 years.
The average age of participants was 36, but the sample ages ranged from as young as 18 and as old as 70. Although the recent study came out of BYU, a known religious institution, researchers were sure to take religiosity into account, controlling the study to represent more of the demographics of the married American population, including participants of all ages, races and religious affiliation in the study. Only six percent of the study included members of the Church.
Along with questions about communication and overall satisfaction in relationships, participants answered the question, “When did you become sexual in this relationship?”
Researchers found that for those who waited to have sex until they were married rated their relationship stability 22 percent higher, their relationship satisfaction 20 percent higher, sexual quality of the relationship 15 percent better and communication 12 percent better, than those who did not wait for marriage. Results from the study show that couples who were in between — meaning those who became sexually involved later in the relationship but prior to marriage — had half of the reported benefits.
“When couples are sexual very early it sets up seeds of distrust,” Brother Busby said. “Knowing that the person was sexual with [an individual] before they really knew [that person] without a commitment and trust lingers in a relationship.”
That, Brother Busby said, leads to less stability and trust.
“In the end, sex in a relationship is relative,” Brother Busby said. “If you think of the amount of time in relationships, it is relatively small. Time talking and developing relationships is greater and are so crucial in how you are going to feel in the companionship. Today, things are turned upside down. It is all about sex first and then couples hope the other areas develop.”
Although the physical element in a relationship is still very important, Brother Busby said, it is the timing that is the crucial part.
In the end, research proves that following the standards set forth in the gospel contributes to stronger relationships and greater satisfaction.
“The longer a couple waits, the better,” Brother Busby said.
By Alan on Feb 03 in Blog tagged Alan Osmond, chased, chaste, chastity, choices, clean, commitment, happiness, home, in the world, Jesus, Joy Lundberg, LDS, marriage, morals, of the world, Satan, sex, sexual purity, temple, testimony, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the way, trust | 5 Comments
“We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.
Those who are chaste are morally clean in their thoughts, words, and actions. Chastity means not having any sexual relations before marriage. It also means complete fidelity to husband or wife during marriage. Chastity is sexual purity.
In the world today, Satan has led many people to believe that sexual intimacy outside of marriage is acceptable. But in God’s sight, it is a serious sin. It is an abuse of the power He has given us to create life. The prophet Alma taught that sexual sins are more serious than any other sins except murder and denying the Holy Ghost (Alma 39: 3-5).
Sometimes people try to convince themselves that sexual relations outside of marriage are acceptable if the participants love one another. This is not true. Breaking the law of chastity and encouraging someone else to do so is not an expression of love. People who love each other will never endanger one another’s happiness and safety in exchange for temporary personal pleasure.
When people care for one another enough to keep the law of chastity, their love, trust, and commitment increase, resulting in greater happiness and unity. In contrast, relationships built on sexual immorality sour quickly. Those who engage in sexual immorality often feel fear, guilt, and shame. Bitterness, jealousy, and hatred soon replace any positive feelings that once existed in their relationship.
In this life, we are given the power to choose The Way that we wish to live our lives and in whom we wish to follow.
Scriptures teach us that there are two ways you can choose. “Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves—to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life. 2 Ne. 10: 23
“Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own. For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
“Behold, it is written by them of old time, that thou shalt not commit adultery; But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman, to lust after her, hath committed adultery already in his heart. Behold, I give unto you a commandment, that ye suffer none of these things to enter into your heart; For it is better that ye should deny yourselves of these things, wherein ye will take up your cross, than that ye should be cast into hell.” 3 Nephi 12:27-30
It is important for you to date and find that special someone that you trust with all your heart who will marry you and take care of you in sickness and health and also forever! The only way to be married forever is to do it in The House of The Lord. These are Holy Temples, where a couple can be married not only for time, but also for all eternity. Plus, by keeping God’s commandment to ‘multiply and replenish the earth’, those children that you bear will all be sealed to you as husband and wife. This is ‘The Way’ that lasts forever and the only way for you to become like your Heavenly Parents and live forever with eternal offspring. Otherwise, it is sin, and you will be judged for your evil works.
If you have make some mistakes already in your life and wish to get rid of those sins, then Jesus is the ‘Only Way’ to be forgiven. He died for us knowing that we would make mistakes and need forgiveness. Let Him be your Savior and accept His sacrifice. Don’t let His offer be wasted in your behalf. Accept Him with Faith and Repentance and be Baptized to wash away those sins and receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost to help lead you through this trying world, especially in these last days, that you might have ‘clean hands and a pure heart’ to receive Jesus Christ as He is coming back again!
Parents, one look at the world today is enough to provide convincing evidence that we must give high priority to teaching our children moral purity. In the past, we could count on society to give us a helping hand, but no more. In fact, society—as an examination of some of the media could lead us to believe—has, in general, defected to the enemy, hailing immorality as an acceptable and inviting life-style.
Beyond that facade, however, there are millions of parents trying to combat the evil around us. Certainly we in the Church should understand the responsibility parents have to resist immorality and to teach the wrongness of it.
Teach with openness and warmth. We need to be the first to teach our sons and daughters the basics about sexuality, for the first information can have the greatest impact. Carefully and prayerfully, we must plan how we will teach them the basic sexual functions of their bodies, recognizing that this instruction is not just a one-time event. The need for more information grows as the child grows. We must be there to answer questions, unembarrassed and spiritually guided. Children need to know that their bodies are sacred, created by a loving Heavenly Father, and that it is their divine responsibility to protect and never defile their procreative functions.
Teach the doctrine of the Church regarding morality. Our Church leaders have provided us with a clear definition of what the Lord expects of us regarding sexual purity. “The Lord specifically forbids certain behaviors, including all sexual relations before marriage, petting, sex perversion (such as homosexuality, rape, and incest), masturbation, or preoccupation with sex in thought, speech, or action.” We must be sure our children understand the meaning of these words in the context of the gospel; if not, someone else, without the Spirit, may lead them into unrighteousness.
“In the category of crimes, only murder and denying the Holy Ghost come ahead of illicit sexual relations, which we call fornication when it involves an unmarried person, or the graver sin of adultery when it involves one who is married. … In the eyes of God, chastity will never be out of date.”
Our children need to have a clear understanding that “it is not pleasing to the Lord to sow one’s wild oats, to engage in sexual transgression of any nature, and then expect that planned confession and quick repentance will satisfy the Lord.” Ezra Taft Benson
Teach children how to make wise choices. They need to understand that their sexual feelings are natural and God-given, and that they do have the power to control them. We must help them comprehend the blessing of their great gift of agency. “Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves—to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life.” (2 Ne. 10:23.)
Who would choose everlasting death over eternal life? Perhaps only those who are not experienced in the art of choosing. According to a bishop in Texas, “many parents aren’t allowing their children to make even simple decisions on their own. How can they make choices with eternal consequences if they aren’t allowed to choose their own clothes, hairstyles, hobbies, etc.?” Parents need to guide youth in making some choices more than others. But children can learn to choose appropriate friends, music, movies, and other activities if we lovingly help them consider the effects these choices can have on their morality.
Help build strong testimonies of the gospel. Over and over, young men and women have told me that the single most important factor in their choosing sexual purity was their testimony of Jesus Christ.
Create a happy environment at home. We need to enjoy life around home. One father of teenagers said, “Having fun with our children has been a key to helping them choose morality. My wife and I emphasize that it’s fun to be good.” Then they try to prove it. “We work at having fun, and it’s paying off.”
For The Family
By Alan on Jan 22 in Blog, Videos tagged alan, Alex, Apostle, ask advice, barbershop, big talks, Bob Hope, careful, choices, church, David, Douglas, drinking, drugs, feelings, fishing, future, Generation, group, growing up, harmony, home, interest, Jon, judgement, leadership, life, Like Father, Like son, listen, love, manhood, mentor, Michael, missionaries, music, Nathan, normal, Osmonds, parents, pornography, pray, relationship, role model, Russell Nelson, Scott, Second, sex, share, show, stage, Suzanne, time, troubled times, trust, Tyler, video, watch, work | 3 Comments
What a responsibility it is to be a father of eights sons and growing up especially during these troubled times with them possibly wanting to pattern their lives and careers after my own, in show business. Such was the case of my sons, The Osmonds Second Generation.
Yes, we love music and our home was filled with it. Our boys actually stated singing on their own. Suzanne and I discovered one night after returning home from a night out together and found our sons watching old videos of me and my brothers singing barbershop harmony. The funny thing was they were singing right along with the video and singing in two part harmony as well! We both looked at each other and said, oh, oh!
The next day I sat my sons down and taught them a song in two part harmony. They did it! Soon, they were trying to sing in three parts and eventually, four parts! They sang at church and a few private parties and were invited to be on the Eugene Jelesnick Talent Showcase TV Show in Salt Lake City, Utah; the same show my brothers and I did when we were young! Bob Hope saw them, put them on his National TV Special and we have been chasing after them ever since!
While they were young, we gave them piano lessons and encouraged their interests in music but Suzanne and I also knew that they needed good educations and tried to keep their music as a hobby. While maintaining somewhat normal lives and going to school, they had great opportunities and success especially in England with four top twenty hit songs with videos.
Soon, it was time for Michael, the oldest, to serve as a missionary for our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which he chose to do and left the group to serve for two years in Denmark speaking Danish. When it was time, Nathan also did the same and went to Chile. Doug went to South Africa, David to Spain. Scott served in Paraguay and Jon went to to Brazil. Alex served stateside in Atlanta, Georgia and our youngest, Tyler, is yet to be seen.
When our boys returned from their mission calls they went to college and majored in various areas of business yet became very good at entertaining with a love for music. Suzanne and I had both encouraged them to get “Real Jobs” by getting a good education, and most of them did. Still, some have pursued music careers and we now see their talent and love for music showing up n their own children!
Fathers and sons can play a critical role in helping each other become the best that they can be. As we sit shoulder to shoulder in worshiping our Lord at church as priesthood holders or ‘Side by Side’ singing together on stage, we realize that we with our families can also become part of an eternal family of God.
M. Russell Nelson, a friend and an Apostle of our church reminds us that, “Father and sons need to talk together and possibly work together as there is no other relationship quite like that which can and should exist between a boy and his dad. It can be one of the most nurturing, joyful relationships in life, one that can have profound impact on who boys become and also who dads become. We are all on a journey with Dads a little further down the road, but none of us has yet arrived at our final destination. We are all in the process of becoming who we will one day be. Fathers and sons can play a critical role in helping each other become the best that they can be.
I know that father-son relationships are never perfect, but it is possible if you will put forth the effort to make it happen.
Young men, you are your father’s pride and joy. In you they see a promising future and their hope for a better, improved version of themselves. Your accomplishments are a joy to them. Your worries and problems are their worries and problems.
Fathers, you are the primary model of manhood for your sons. You are their most meaningful mentor, and believe it or not, you are their hero in countless ways. Your words and your example are a great influence on them.”
First, trust your father. He is not perfect, but he loves you and would never do anything he didn’t think was in your best interest. So talk to him. Share your thoughts and feelings, your dreams and your fears. The more he knows about your life, the better chance he has to understand your concerns and to give you good counsel. When you put your trust in your dad, he will feel the responsibility of that trust and try harder than ever to understand and to help. As your father, he is entitled to inspiration on your behalf. His advice to you will be the heartfelt expressions of someone who knows and loves you. Your dad wants more than anything for you to be happy and successful, so why would you not want to trust someone like that? Boys, trust your dad.
Second, take an interest in your father’s life. Ask about his job, his interests, his goals. How did he decide to do the work that he does? What was he like when he was your age? How did he meet your mother? And as you learn more about him, you may find that his experiences help you to better understand why he responds the way that he does. Watch your dad. Watch how he treats your mother. Watch how he performs his Church callings. Watch how he interacts with other people. You will be surprised what you learn about him just by watching him and listening to him. Think about what you don’t know about him and find out. Your love, admiration, and understanding will increase by what you learn. Boys, be interested in your dad’s life.
My Father and brother Wayne.
And third, ask your father for advice. Let’s be honest: he is probably going to give you his advice whether you ask for it or not, but it just works so much better when you ask! Ask for his advice on Church activity, on classes, on friends, on school, on dating, on sports or other hobbies. Ask for his counsel on your Church assignments, on preparing for your mission, on decisions or choices you have to make. Nothing shows respect for another person as much as asking for his advice, because what you are really saying when you ask for advice is, “I appreciate what you know and the experiences you have had, and I value your ideas and suggestions.” Those are nice things for a father to hear from his son.
In my experience, fathers who are asked for advice try harder to give good, sound, useful counsel. By asking your father for advice, you not only receive the benefit of his input, but you also provide him with a little extra motivation to strive to be a better father and a better man. He will think more carefully about whatever it is that he advises, and he will work harder to “walk the talk.” Young men, ask your dad for advice!
OK, fathers, now it’s your turn. Let’s talk about some things you can do to enhance your relationship with your sons. You will notice that there is some linkage between the three suggestions I am going to give you and the suggestions I just gave your sons. That isn’t coincidental.
First, fathers, listen to your sons—really listen to them. Ask the right kind of questions, and listen to what your sons have to say each time you have a few minutes together. You need to know—not to guess but to know—what is going on in your son’s life. Don’t assume that you know how he feels just because you were young once. Your sons live in a very different world from the one in which you grew up. As they share with you what’s going on, you will have to listen very carefully and without being judgmental in order to understand what they are thinking and experiencing.
Father often took us fishing. Alan, Merrill, Wayne.
Find your own best way to connect. Some fathers like to take their sons fishing or to a sporting event. Others like to go on a quiet drive or work side by side in the yard. Some find their sons enjoy conversations at night just before going to bed. Do whatever works best for you. A one-on-one relationship should be a routine part of your stewardship with your sons. Every father needs at least one focused, quality conversation with his sons every month during which they talk about specific things such as school, friends, feelings, video games, text messaging, worthiness, faith, and testimony. Where or when this happens isn’t nearly as important as the fact that it happens.
Father taught us to work but listened.
And oh, how fathers need to listen. Remember, conversation where you do 90 percent of the talking is not a conversation. Use the word “feel” as often as you comfortably can in your discussions with your sons. Ask: “How do you feel about what you’re learning in that class?” “How do you feel about what your friend said?” “How do you feel about your priesthood and the Church?”
Don’t think you have to try to fix everything or solve everything during these visits. Most of the time, the best thing you can do is just listen. Fathers who listen more than they talk find that their sons share more about what is really going on in their lives. Dads, listen to your sons.
Second, pray with and for your sons. Give them priesthood blessings. A son who is worried about a big exam or a special event will surely benefit from a father’s priesthood blessing. Occasions like the start of a new school year, a birthday, or as he begins to date may be opportune times to call upon the Lord to bless your son. One-on-one prayer and the sharing of testimonies can draw you closer to each other as well as closer to the Lord.
I am mindful that many of you fathers suffer heartache over sons who have strayed and are being captured by the world, just as Alma and Mosiah worried about their sons. Continue to do all you can to maintain strong family relationships. Never give up, even when fervent prayer in their behalf is all you can do. These precious sons of yours are your sons forever! Fathers, pray with and bless your sons.
Third, dare to have the “big talks” with your sons. You know what I mean: talks about drugs and drinking, about the dangers of today’s media—the Internet, cyber technologies, and pornography—and about priesthood worthiness, respect for girls, and moral cleanliness. While these should not be the only subjects you talk about with your sons, please don’t shy away from them. Your boys need your counsel, guidance, and input on these subjects. As you talk about these very important matters, you will find that the trust between you will flourish.
I am especially concerned that we communicate openly and clearly with our sons about sexual matters. Your sons are growing up in a world that openly embraces and flaunts early, casual, and thoughtless promiscuity. Your sons simply cannot avoid the blatant sexual imagery, messages, and enticements that are all around them. Fathers and Church leaders need to have open and frequent discussions that teach and clarify how young men of the priesthood handle this issue. Be positive about how wonderful and beautiful physical intimacy can be when it happens within the bounds the Lord has set, including temple covenants and commitments of eternal marriage. Studies show that the biggest deterrent to casual sexual activity is a wholesome attitude that connects such personal relationships with genuine commitment and mature love. Fathers, if you have not had this “big talk” with your sons, please do so, and do it soon.
And fathers, the three suggestions I made to you moments ago absolutely apply to your relationships with your returned missionary sons. Listen to them, and connect with them in regular, focused conversation. Talk with them in depth about their feelings and desires. Pray with them, and give them blessings as they face the important decisions in their future.
Alex at Temple Leaving on Mission.
Elder Ballard says to young men like mine who are returned missionaries to “trust your father. You can be closer to him now than ever before regardless of what your relationship was like before your mission. During the next few years, you will make the most important decisions of your life. Along with prayer to your Heavenly Father, advice from your earthly father can help you make those decisions concerning your education, career choice, and marriage. The most important decision you will make in this life is the decision to marry the right girl in the temple! While no one should rush this significant decision, all returned missionaries should be working on it. Be where you can meet the right kind of friends. And go on dates. Hanging out is not the way, nor is it enough! Courting seems to be a lost art. Rediscover it. It really works! Ask your fathers—they know! Do not drift to the ways of the world. Rather, maintain the dignity and the Spirit you enjoyed on your mission. The Church will need your leadership in the future.”
I have never been a father before. I have watched my father while growing up and how he handled problems, made decisions, and handled situations as I grew older. With my eight sons, I have often tried to remember those times and have applied it to my own sons. I remind them that this life is a time to make choices; that those choices that we made in heaven before we came here determined where we are in this life. And, the choices we make here will decide which mansion in heaven we go to after we die and return to our Heavenly parents. I cannot tell them who to love. I cannot tell them what you should do for a living. But what I can do is show continual love and support and be there to catch them should they fall.
For the Family
M. Russell Ballard
A Talk from General Conference
By Alan on Jan 17 in Blog, Videos tagged Alan love, daughter, divine, eternity, Family, girl, God, good, happiness, husband, Jesus, journal, love, marriage, men, mother, Osmond, sex, Son, songs, spirit, Suzanne, wife, woman, women, writer | 7 Comments
When I was almost twenty five, I was lonely and writing in my journal one night after I had prayed to my Heavenly Father and letting Him know that I had dated a lot, kept my eyes open, went to church, dances, concerts, events, and had really tried to find that special one who I would marry and would live with me eternally.
Well, one week later, I met Suzanne. My journal reads, “Tonight I met a ‘real girl’!” Yes, Suzanne swept me off of my feet and we dated for about six months, the best 6 months of my life. I was then going on a world concert tour with my family and I wanted her to go with me. I didn’t know if we would ever be able to go around the world again and I knew I couldn’t taker her as a girl friend because it wouldn’t ‘look right’! But, I knew that she was the one for me and that I loved her . . . so I asked her to marry me!
After she fasted and prayed about it, she humbled me by saying yes! I promised her to be true and faithful and to take good care of her and that we would marry for time and for all eternity in a Temple of the Lord. She was heaven sent and has blessed both of our lives with eight wonderful sons.
As a song writer, I wrote several songs about Suzanne, or at least with her in mind. Some songs were written before I knew her but as I would write, I would picture what I thought she would look like in my mind and expressed how I felt. A few songs were:
“Girl”. “That’s My Girl, “True Love”, “You’re Gonna Get Me To Heaven”, “Whose Gonna Get Suzanne”, “Darlin”, “Same Girl”, “Carrie”, “Catch Me Baby”, “Do You Want Me”, “It’s You Babe”, “You’re Mine”, “Love Me” , “Sho’ Would Be Nice”, “Tears On My Pillow”, “Trust My Love”, “We Can Make It Together”, “What Could ItBe”, “Big Al, His Gal, and His Pals”, for a few.
Besides being my wife and a wonderful women, Suzanne is my better half, a mother, companion, housekeeper, cook, shopper, nurse, councilor, chauffeur, baby sitter, hand holder, book keeper, psychologist, designer, seamstress, janitor, secretary, advisor, motivator, security guard, shopper, consultant, photographer, teacher, relief society president, temple worker, back scratcher, my right hand, watchful eye, listening ear, a feel bad hugger, nutritionist, grocery shopper, care giver, story teller, scripture quoter, financial accountant , dancer, piano player, singer, violinist, travel booker, good looker, great kisser, computer wiz, not in show biz, and most importantly . . . . she is the one that I love!
With all that she does, I really could not afford her but, I can’t afford to ever lose her, so I’m just gonna mind my business, work hard and be good!