How To Be Patient
By Alan on May 16 in Blog tagged change your attitude, clocks move much faster, eventually, figure out, get what you want, How to be patient, keep a journal, life, overcome, positive outlook, remember what matters, see the big picture, The Family, what makes you impatient, write it down | 1 Comment
Learning to be patient will make the clocks seem to move much faster than if you are constantly staring at it.
It has never been easy to be patient, but it’s probably harder now than at any time in history. In a world where messages and information can be sent across the world instantly, everything is available with only a few clicks of the mouse. Fortunately, patience is a virtue that can be cultivated and nurtured over time. You will be pleasantly surprised by how relaxation and peace of mind can impact the quality of your life.
Here are FIVE STEPS you should review:
- Figure Out What Makes You Impatient
Try to figure out why you are in such a hurry. We tend to lose our patience when we’re multitasking or when we’re on a tight schedule, expecting the day to pass within (what it seems like…) only a few short minutes of busyness and chaos. If you’re stretching yourself too thin, you should reconsider your to-do list before you attempt to change your natural reaction to an overwhelming situation. Try to spread out your tasks so that you’re doing only one thing at a time, without leaving yourself twiddling your thumbs in eagerness of something to busy yourself with. Delegate responsibilities to others if you can; this in itself may be a test of your patience, but you have to learn to share the load.
Pinpoint the triggers that often influence you to lose your patience. Impatience creeps in insidiously, and if you feel anxious, worried, or unhappy you may not even realize that the underlying cause of these feelings is impatience. To reduce the frequency of impatience, it helps to be aware of it. Which events, people, phrases or circumstances always seem to influence you lose your cool? Sit down and make a list of all the things which cause you anxiety, tension, or frustration. At the core of most triggers is a reality that we have a hard time accepting. What are those realities for you?Look for patterns. Being aware of your impatience also gives you a chance to learn from it and perhaps uncover a relationship or circumstance that is simply not healthy or constructive, and that you may have the power to change. Figure that out, and you can then think logically about the problem issue and decide whether or not your impatience is warranted or helpful. It usually isn’t, but when it is you can then figure out ways to fix the root problem rather than simply feeling stressed about it.
Write it Down
- Keep a journal.
For one to two weeks, whenever you get that rushed feeling and the sense of impatience, write down whatever it is that feeling is associated with (Example: July 1 – astronomy class). Make sure that you take notes consistently and consecutively each time the feeling occurs. You will notice that you are more aware of (and subsequently more prepared for) the feeling of impatience. You will also be able to observe the sense of impatience objectively and which events give rise to it. You may come to the conclusion that circumstances surrounding the feeling are not causing you angst – the feeling itself is. In these ways, you will be able to better control impatience when it besets you.
- Overcoming Impatience.
In the long run, developing patience requires a change in your attitude about life, but you can immediately make progress by learning to relax whenever you feel impatient. Take a few deep breaths and just try to clear your mind.Concentrate on breathing and you’ll be able to get your bearings.
Let go if you can’t do anything about the impatience trigger. If there isn’t anything that you can do to resolve whatever has triggered your impatience, just let it go. Easier said than done, yes, but it’s possible, and it’s the only healthy thing to do. Initially, you will probably find it difficult to let go if the matter is important to you – waiting to hear back after a job interview, for instance – but you should be able to alleviate impatience that’s caused by issues of less consequence (i.e. waiting in line at the grocery store). If you make a concerted effort to be more patient in relatively inconsequential, short-term situations, you’ll gradually develop the strength to remain patient in even the most trying and enduring situations.
- See the Big Picture
Remind yourself that things take time. People who are impatient are people who insist on getting things done now and don’t like to waste time. However, some things just can’t be rushed. Think about your happiest memories. Chances are, they were instances when your patience paid off, like when you worked steadily toward a goal that wasn’t immediately gratifying, or took a little extra time to spend leisurely with a loved one. Would you have those memories if you had been impatient? Probably not. Almost anything really good in life takes time and dedication, and if you’re impatient, you’re more likely to give up on relationships, goals, and other things that are important to you. Good things may not always come to those who wait, but most good things that do come don’t come right away.
- Remember what matters.
Not focusing on what matters most in this life fuels impatience. Move the world toward peace by being kind, generous in forgiveness of others, being grateful for what is, and taking full advantage of what matters most. When other less important things fuel our impatience, taking time to remember any one of these items reduces our tendency to want something different right now.
- Always remember that you will eventually get what you want.
(This requires maturity and patience to understand and accept!)
If you work hard at something, this may be the truth, but most of the time you have to be patient to get what you want. For others, this may come as easy, but the only thing that matters is that you know how to occupy yourself, even in the dead of times. Just remember, patience is a mental skill that you will never forget, so cherish patience as a major step for you in life. Impatience is something not to be proud of, but something that you should attempt to train yourself out of, before it is something that overthrows your life.
- Always have a positive outlook in life.
Being always positive is very imperative as possessing a sense of patience. Remember that life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.
- Expect the unexpected.
Yes, you have plans, but things don’t always work out as planned. Accept the twist and turns in life gracefully. Keep your expectations realistic. This applies not only to circumstances, but also the behavior of those around you. If you find yourself blowing up over your child or your spouse accidentally spilling a drink, you’re not in touch with the fact that people aren’t perfect. Even if the occasion is not an isolated incident but is instead caused by their repeated neglect and carelessness, losing your patience isn’t going to make it any better. That’s something to be addressed with discussion and self-control.
- Give yourself a break.
The meaning of this is twofold.
First, take a few minutes to do absolutely nothing. Just sit quietly and think. Don’t watch television; don’t even read. Do nothing. It may be hard at first, and you may even feel impatient after a minute or two, but by taking some time out you can essentially slow your world down, and that’s important to develop the attitude necessary to develop patience.
Second, stop holding yourself and the world around you to unreachable standards. Sure, we’d all be more patient if babies didn’t cry, dishes didn’t break, computers didn’t crash, and people didn’t make mistakes – but that’s never going to happen. Expecting the world to run smoothly is like beating your head against the wall. Give yourself a break!
By Alan on May 08 in Blog tagged a man and a woman, abortion, abstinence, avoid pornography, baptism, between husband and wife, blessings, chastity, commandment, complete fidelity, create life, disease, divorce, faithful, Family, feel peace, for His children, God's direction, God's plan, gospel of jesus Christ, heartache, high moral standards, how you dress, in his heart, intimacy, jokes, law, looketh on a woman, marriage, obscene, overcome, Physical intimacy, repentance, resist temptation, sacred, sacred power, Satan, self-control, self-respect, sexual relations, shalt not commit adultery, sin, undesirable thoughts, virtuous and chaste, wholesome recreaction activities, words, you can be forgiven | Comments Off
Your Heavenly Father loves you and wants you to be happy today and forever. He has given counsel and commandments through His prophets to help you. One commandment that is vital to your peace and happiness is His commandment regarding sexual purity, known as the law of chastity. The Lord instituted this law from the beginning, and He emphasized its importance to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Obedience to this commandment is a requirement for baptism in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
What Is the Law of Chastity?
Physical intimacy between husband and wife is a beautiful and sacred part of God’s plan for His children. It is an expression of love within marriage and allows husband and wife to participate in the creation of life. God has commanded that this sacred power be expressed only between a man and a woman who are legally married. The law of chastity applies to both men and women. It includes strict abstinence from sexual relations before marriage and complete fidelity and loyalty to one’s spouse after marriage.
In addition to reserving sexual intimacy for marriage, we obey the law of chastity by controlling our thoughts, words, and actions. Jesus Christ taught, “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: but I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matt. 5: 27-28).
The law of chastity requires that sexual relations be reserved for marriage between a man and a woman.
Why Should I Keep the Law of Chastity?
Your Heavenly Father has given the law of chastity to protect and bless you. Like all sacred things, physical intimacy must be expressed according to God’s direction. As you keep the law of chastity, you will enjoy happiness, peace, and self-respect. You will enjoy trust and confidence in your family relation- ships, and you will be blessed with self-control. You will enjoy the blessings of the gospel of Jesus Christ through the influence of the Holy Ghost.
Satan leads people to believe that sexual intimacy outside of marriage is acceptable and even desirable. But it is a serious sin; God has always taught His chil- dren to be virtuous and chaste (see Ex. 20: 14 and Alma 39: 3-5). This principle is eternal.
Violating the law of chastity is an abuse of the power God has given to create life; it shows a disregard for Him and for His children. It dulls spirituality and often leads to bitterness, heartache, divorce, disease, and abortion. Those who violate this law are exposed to greater influence from Satan. This sin also seriously affects family members and others.
How Do I Keep the Law of Chastity?
God requires a high moral standard of His children. To keep the law of chastity, you must replace undesirable thoughts, words, and actions with wholesome ones.
The following principles will help:
Thoughts. Positive and constructive thoughts will push negative or immoral ones from your life. As you fill your life with whole- some thoughts and activities, you will grow in your ability to replace and overcome negative thoughts. Reading the scriptures, serving your family, working diligently, and engaging in wholesome recreational activities will help you control your thoughts.
Avoid pornography in all forms. It is addictive and destructive. It will rob you of your self-respect and of an appreciation for the beauties of life. Do not allow your mind to dwell on obscene or immoral thoughts or images. Do not view, read, or listen to anything that depicts or describes the human body or sexual conduct in a disrespectful way. Avoid looking with lustful thoughts at others, and avoid suggestive or explicit movies, television shows, Internet sites, music, books, magazines, and activities.
Words. Let your words build up others and strengthen them. Eliminate degrading, vulgar, and sexually explicit words, jokes, and themes from your conversations.
Actions. Always treat others with respect. Be modest in how you dress. If you remember that each person is a child of God, and if you do all you can to help others follow His plan, then you will be strengthened in your desire to keep the law of chastity.
Determine now that you will not do anything outside of marriage to arouse the powerful emotions that must be expressed only in marriage. Do not arouse those emotions in another person or in yourself. Do not participate in homosexual or lesbian acts or other immoral activities. Replace activities where you may be tempted to violate the law of chastity with constructive activities and hobbies. In marriage, remain absolutely faithful to your spouse in thought and action.
Because living the law of chastity will bring you closer to God, Satan will entice you to break this commandment. He knows when you are lonely, confused, or depressed, and he will tempt you when you are weak. Pray to your Heavenly Father for help, and He will give you strength to resist temptation (see 1 Cor. 10: 13). As you rely on Him and follow these principles, you will be able to overcome temptation.
Blessings of Living the Law of Chastity
As you live the law of chastity, you will be more open to the influence of the Holy Ghost. With the guidance of the Holy Ghost, you will develop greater wisdom, face trials with greater courage, feel God’s support and direction in your life, and be an example to your family and others. The love you have for your spouse and loved ones will be deeper, richer, and more meaningful. You will experience greater peace of mind.
In the scriptures we learn that true happiness comes from obeying the commandments of God (see Mosiah 2: 41) and that “wickedness never was happi- ness” (Alma 41: 10).
If you have broken the law of chastity, God has made it possible for you to repent and become clean again. Repent now of any past transgressions, and commit to live this sacred law. Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ and true repentance, you can be forgiven and feel peace.
By Alan on May 05 in Blog tagged a look, a principle, actions, become like Jesus, belongs to someone else, cheat, cheat employers, comletely honest, copyright, deceive, deed, dishonest, every thought, everyone else does it, excuses, father of lies, gesture, get even, honesty, inferior service, Jesus Christ, justice, lie, more than our share, of salvation, overcome, Satan, scriptures, silence, steal, taking merchandise, temptation, tempted, truth, unfair advantage, without permission, words | Comments Off
Honesty Is a Principle of Salvation
- What would society be like if everyone were perfectly honest?
“We believe in being honest.”
The scriptures tell us about a group of people who were “distinguished for their zeal towards God, and also towards men; for they were perfectly honest and upright in all things; and they were firm in the faith of Christ, even unto the end” (Alma 27:27). Because of their honesty, these people were noted by their fellowmen and by God. It is important to learn what honesty is, how we are tempted to be dishonest, and how we can overcome this temptation.
Complete honesty is necessary for our salvation. “If we accept salvation on the terms it is offered to us, we have got to be honest in every thought, in our reflections, in our meditations, in our private circles, in our deals, in our declarations, and in every act of our lives”. (B Young)
God is honest and just in all things (see Alma 7:20). We too must be honest in all things to become like Him. The brother of Jared testified, “Yea, Lord, I know that thou … art a God of truth, and canst not lie” (Ether 3:12). In contrast, the devil is a liar. In fact, he is the father of lies (see 2 Nephi 9:9). “Those who choose to cheat and lie and deceive and misrepresent become his slaves” (Mark E. Petersen).
Honest people love truth and justice. They are honest in their words and actions. They do not lie, steal, or cheat.
To Lie Is Dishonest
We are going to discuss three forms of dishonesty: lying, stealing, and cheating.
Lying is intentionally deceiving others. Bearing false witness is one form of lying. The Lord gave this commandment to the children of Israel: “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour” (Exodus 20:16). Jesus also taught this when He was on earth (see Matthew 19:18). There are many other forms of lying. When we speak untruths, we are guilty of lying. We can also intentionally deceive others by a gesture or a look, by silence, or by telling only part of the truth. Whenever we lead people in any way to believe something that is not true, we are not being honest.
The Lord is not pleased with such dishonesty, and we will have to account for our lies. Satan would have us believe it is all right to lie. He says, “Yea, lie a little; … there is no harm in this” (2 Nephi 28:8). Satan encourages us to justify our lies to ourselves. Honest people will recognize Satan’s temptations and will speak the whole truth, even if it seems to be to their disadvantage.
To Steal Is Dishonest
Jesus taught, “Thou shalt not steal” (Matthew 19:18). Stealing is taking something that does not belong to us. When we take what belongs to someone else or to a store or to the community without permission, we are stealing. Taking merchandise or supplies from an employer is stealing. Copying music, movies, pictures, or written text without the permission of the copyright owners is dishonest and is a form of theft. Accepting more change or goods than one should is dishonest. Taking more than our share of anything is stealing.
To Cheat Is Dishonest
We cheat when we give less than we owe, or when we get something we do not deserve. Some employees cheat their employers by not working their full time; yet they accept full pay. Some employers are not fair to their employees; they pay them less than they should. Satan says, “Take the advantage of one because of his words, dig a pit for thy neighbor” (2 Nephi 28:8). Taking unfair advantage is a form of dishonesty. Providing inferior service or merchandise is cheating.
We Must Not Excuse Our Dishonesty
- What happens to us spiritually when we excuse our dishonesty?
People use many excuses for being dishonest. People lie to protect themselves and to have others think well of them. Some excuse themselves for stealing, thinking they deserve what they took, intend to return it, or need it more than the owner. Some cheat to get better grades in school or because “everyone else does it” or to get even.
These excuses and many more are given as reasons for dishonesty. To the Lord, there are no acceptable reasons. When we excuse ourselves, we cheat ourselves and the Spirit of God ceases to be with us. We become more and more unrighteous.
We Can Be Completely Honest
- What does it mean to be completely honest?
To become completely honest, we must look carefully at our lives. If there are ways in which we are being even the least bit dishonest, we should repent of them immediately.
When we are completely honest, we cannot be corrupted. We are true to every trust, duty, agreement, or covenant, even if it costs us money, friends, or our lives. Then we can face the Lord, ourselves, and others without shame. President Joseph F. Smith counseled, “Let every man’s life be so that his character will bear the closest inspection, and that it may be seen as an open book, so that he will have nothing to shrink from or be ashamed of”.
- In what ways does our honesty or dishonesty affect how we feel about ourselves?
Jesus Says, “If You Have Never . . . How Would . . .”
By Alan on Mar 06 in Blog tagged apreciate, become pure, broken, comforter, correct, deliverer, depend, died, forgiver, healer, how would, if you have never, Jesus, love, mistake, need, overcome, perfect, problem, rescue, sadness, solve, suffering, trial, trouble | Comments Off
If you never felt pain, then how would you know that I am a Healer?
If you never had to pray, How would you know that I am a Deliverer?
If you never had a trial, how could you call yourself an overcomer?
If you never felt sadness, How would you know that I am a Comforter?
If you never made a mistake, How would you know that I am a forgiver?
If you knew all, How would you know that I will answer your questions?
If you never were in trouble, How would you know that I will come to your rescue
If you never were broken, Then how would you know that I can make you whole?
If you never had a problem,How would you know that I can solve them?
If you never had any suffering, Then how would you know what I went through?
If you never went through the fire, Then how would you become pure?
If I gave you all things, How would you appreciate them?
If I never corrected you, How would you know that I love you?
If you had all power, Then how would you learn to depend on me?
If your life was perfect, Then what would you need me for?
God our Father, walk through my house and take away all my worries and illnesses and please watch over and heal my family in Jesus name, Amen.
For The Family
Pray – When Everything Else Seems Impossible.
By Alan on Feb 24 in Blog tagged confort, employment, Family, Garden of Gethsamane, heal, intensity of prayers, Jesus, need, neighbor, overcome, prayer, problem to solve, Satan, temptations | 1 Comment
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Prayer can be a great source of comfort when we have a special need or a problem to solve. We can pray for family members who have lost faith or testimony. The Apostle James wrote, “Pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much” (James 5:16). We can pray about choice of employment, large purchases, how to help a neighbor or serve well in our families.
Elder Bruce R. McConkie explained that as our needs vary, so does the intensity of our prayers, and he referred to the Savior in the Garden of Gethsemane: “‘And being in agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground’ (Luke 22:44).
“Now here is a marvelous thing,” continued Elder McConkie. “Note it well. The Son of God ‘prayed more earnestly’! He who did all things well … teaching us, his brethren, that all prayers, his included, are not alike, and that a greater need calls forth more earnest and faith-filled pleadings before the throne of him to whom the prayers of the saints are a sweet savor”.
Through prayer we arm ourselves and our families with great power against the influence and temptations of Satan. As we pray devoutly for the ability to discern good from evil, our homes will become places of peace and love, fortified against the adversary. We will also receive spiritual strength to overcome temptation.
As we face these unsure times when the wold seems to be upside down and answers seem harder to find, may we all earnestly pray to our Father in Heaven in the name of Jesus Christ that they may bring to us through our faith those miracles and everlasting blessings to protect and strengthen our families.
For The Family