By Alan on Jun 15 in Blog tagged alan, Alan and Suzanne osmond, army lead, as He did, barrack, challenges, church, dedication died, education, eight boys, eternal, example, Family, family life, forever, George, George and Olive Osmond, good meals, help others, impacted, Jesus Christ, knowledge, lare family, Like Father, Like son, live again, love, love at home, loving home, married, memories, nurtured, order, organization, Osmonds, osmonds second generation, parallel, passed away, point the way, prayer, regimentation, respect, righteous, role model, same way, showed me, Sons, spirit, spirit world, Suzanne Pinegar, tender, The Family, traditions, truth, watched him, worked hard | 2 Comments

Father’s Day – “Like Father, Like Son”

“Having been born of goodly parents”, I was blessed to be the third member of a family of eight sons and one daughter of George and Olive Osmond.  We grew up in the town of Ogden, Utah with fond memories of a wonderful family life.

My Mother, Olive, was so kind and tender as she nurtured us children.  She love to cook and taught us music in a most wonderful and loving home.  Her parents were both educators and my mother would have been too, but she fulfilled her first priority and married my father and had a large family.  Because she loved education, she asked my father to build a schoolroom in the attic of our home where she used her skills as a teacher and theologian to teach us children many truths.

My Father was my hero and my role model.  We called him “Father” out of respect and I wanted to be like him when I grew up.  I was by his side when he built, plumbed, wired, and remodeled homes as a great carpenter. I watched him and was by his side when he milked cows, hauled hay, irrigated the orchard and fields, or as we stamped and packaged postal items at the post office that he had.  Father also loved to sing.  I sat behind him while he was driving the car and as we sang together, he would sing in harmony with Mother.   That was how I learned to sing harmony.  Learning that skill truly impacted my life.   Father taught me how to fish, to hoe sugar beets and how to drive the tractor and haul hay.  He always involved my brothers and me in his work projects and led by example.  He always stood by us when the going got tough or was challenging.  You see, Father had been an army sergeant and knew how to lead men.  Several evidences of that training showed up in how he raised our sister Marie and us eight boys.

One example of that was when we got older and our home needed more bedrooms.  Father decided to build on to the back of our house and built what he called, a dormitory.  Yes, you are right, it was like an army barrack with seven military  metal framed army cots and blankets, foot lockers at the end of the beds, and open closets where our clothes needed to be neatly hung and arranged as there where regular inspections that occurred.  He knew how to lead and train military men in the army so like them, Father taught us in many of the same ways and how to have order.  Some neighbors had asked him if the way he was raising his kids wasn’t ‘regimentation’.  He would just smile and respond back saying; “I look at it as organization.”

I remember many times when he helped friends by serving them.  My Father and Mother were always doing things to help others.  They started the Osmond Foundation to raise money for deaf children, two of which were my older brothers.  This was a pattern of my father and I wanted to be like him,  “Like Father, Like Son.”  He was a hard worker and organizer and gave freely of his time in headed up several fundraising projects within the church and the community.

Like my father, I too, found and married the most wonderful girl in the world, Suzanne Pinegar, and she is my eternal partner.  Suzanne has blessed me with eight wonderful
sons.  As a father, I tried to raise them the best I knew.

I can look back and see a parallel in many of the same ways and traditions that I learned from my father.  Those patterns and traditions of life now exist among us as a family with our sons and their families.  Yes, they honor me and call me Father and they have learned to work hard and to never give up.  Yes, they also love

music and have excelled in it masterfully.  I told them to get “real jobs” and they did get good educations with a love to learn.  Yes, they love the out of doors like I did as a son and are all Eagle Scouts.  Seven of them so far have served full time missions and have returned and married.  Yes, they grew up in a home with respect, order, good cooking, love, and with religious convictions that honors our Lord Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father.  We learn from Jesus’s example that even what He did, was as His Father has done; “Like Father, like Son”.

This Father’s Day, I reflect back on my father’s life and how much he showed me by example the way to be and to become.  He taught us to be positive and to never give up when we were challenged and would say, “You can do it”.  He also taught us that “You can be what you want to become, if you become what you want to be.”  He was hard working yet a righteous man with a tender “marshmallow” heart”, as my mother would say, as he blessed his family and took us all to church.  He served in the bishopric and held several other church callings in which he blessed others.  We never had a meal together without first having a word of prayer and giving thanks and blessing the food.  We always had family prayer at night and even before every show that my family and I did later when we became entertainers.  When major decisions were made, we would counsel with the Lord together in kneeling family prayer seeking inspiration and giving thanks.  This was the way we grew up because it was the way he did.

 I remember the day my mother passed away and which was a hard thing and then not long after that when my father died.  It is not easy to see them go but it is those times when the knowledge of that they had taught us gave us the understanding that we would live again and be with them.  When my Father died, I was the first one to be by his side.  I saw him lying cold and still on his bed.  His body was there but my Father’s spirit wasn’t.  I shed some tears and held his hand as I offered a prayer of gratitude to my Heavenly Father.  I thanked Him for giving me the greatest earthly father I could ever have and for the good man that he was.  It was then that I honestly started to smile as I knew he was now once again with my Mother in the Spirit world.  I looked at him and said, “Father, save me a place, up there.”

Some day, I too, will graduate and do as my Father, my Savior, and my God have done, and live on eternally.  ”Like Father, Like Son”.

Alan Osmond
For The Family

By Alan on Jan 22 in Blog, Videos tagged alan, Alex, Apostle, ask advice, barbershop, big talks, Bob Hope, careful, choices, church, David, Douglas, drinking, drugs, feelings, fishing, future, Generation, group, growing up, harmony, home, interest, Jon, judgement, leadership, life, Like Father, Like son, listen, love, manhood, mentor, Michael, missionaries, music, Nathan, normal, Osmonds, parents, pornography, pray, relationship, role model, Russell Nelson, Scott, Second, sex, share, show, stage, Suzanne, time, troubled times, trust, Tyler, video, watch, work | 3 Comments

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What a responsibility it is to be a father of eights sons and growing up especially during these troubled times with  them possibly wanting to pattern their lives and careers after my own, in show business.  Such was the case of my sons, The Osmonds Second Generation.

Yes, we love music and our home was filled with it.  Our boys actually stated singing on their own.  Suzanne and I discovered one night after returning home from a night out together and found our sons watching old videos of me and my brothers singing barbershop harmony.  The funny thing was they were singing right along with the video and singing in two part harmony as well!  We both looked at each other and said, oh, oh!

The next day I sat my sons down and taught them a song in two part harmony. They did it!  Soon, they were trying to sing in three parts and eventually, four parts!  They sang at church and a few private parties and were invited to be on the Eugene Jelesnick Talent Showcase TV Show in Salt Lake City, Utah; the same show my brothers and I did when we were young!  Bob Hope saw them, put them on his National TV Special and we have been chasing after them ever since!

While they were young, we gave them piano lessons and encouraged their interests in music but Suzanne and I also knew that they needed good educations and tried to keep their music as a hobby.  While maintaining somewhat normal lives and going to school, they had great opportunities and success especially in England with four top twenty hit songs with videos.

Soon, it was time for Michael, the oldest, to serve as a missionary for our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which he chose to do and left the group to serve for two years in Denmark speaking Danish.  When it was time, Nathan also did the same and went to Chile.  Doug went to South Africa, David to Spain. Scott served in Paraguay and Jon went to to Brazil.  Alex served stateside in Atlanta, Georgia and our youngest, Tyler, is yet to be seen.

When  our boys returned from their mission calls they went to college and majored in various areas of business yet became very good at entertaining with a love for music.  Suzanne and I had both encouraged them to get “Real Jobs” by getting a good education, and most of them did.  Still, some have pursued music careers and we now see their talent and love for music showing up n their own children!

I realize how important it is for fathers to “set the stage” of life for your children to follow as they may become like you.  

Fathers and sons can play a critical role in helping each other become the best that they can be.  As we sit shoulder to shoulder in worshiping our Lord at church as priesthood holders or ‘Side by Side’ singing together on stage, we realize that we with our families can also become part of an eternal family of God.

M. Russell Nelson, a friend and an Apostle of our church reminds us that,  ”Father and sons need to talk together and possibly work together as there is no other relationship quite like that which can and should exist between a boy and his dad.  It can be one of the most nurturing, joyful relationships in life, one that can have profound impact on who boys become and also who dads become.  We are all on a journey with Dads a little further down the road, but none of us has yet arrived at our final destination.  We are all in the process of becoming who we will one day be. Fathers and sons can play a critical role in helping each other become the best that they can be.

I know that father-son relationships are never perfect, but it is possible if you will put forth the effort to make it happen.

Young men, you are your father’s pride and joy. In you they see a promising future and their hope for a better, improved version of themselves. Your accomplishments are a joy to them. Your worries and problems are their worries and problems.

Fathers, you are the primary model of manhood for your sons. You are their most meaningful mentor, and believe it or not, you are their hero in countless ways. Your words and your example are a great influence on them.”

I appreciate what Brother Nelson says, “I believe that by doing these three simple things you can make your relationship with your father even better than it is right now.

First, trust your father. He is not perfect, but he loves you and would never do anything he didn’t think was in your best interest. So talk to him. Share your thoughts and feelings, your dreams and your fears. The more he knows about your life, the better chance he has to understand your concerns and to give you good counsel. When you put your trust in your dad, he will feel the responsibility of that trust and try harder than ever to understand and to help. As your father, he is entitled to inspiration on your behalf. His advice to you will be the heartfelt expressions of someone who knows and loves you. Your dad wants more than anything for you to be happy and successful, so why would you not want to trust someone like that? Boys, trust your dad.

Second, take an interest in your father’s life. Ask about his job, his interests, his goals. How did he decide to do the work that he does? What was he like when he was your age? How did he meet your mother? And as you learn more about him, you may find that his experiences help you to better understand why he responds the way that he does. Watch your dad. Watch how he treats your mother. Watch how he performs his Church callings. Watch how he interacts with other people. You will be surprised what you learn about him just by watching him and listening to him. Think about what you don’t know about him and find out. Your love, admiration, and understanding will increase by what you learn. Boys, be interested in your dad’s life.

My Father and brother Wayne.

And third, ask your father for advice. Let’s be honest: he is probably going to give you his advice whether you ask for it or not, but it just works so much better when you ask! Ask for his advice on Church activity, on classes, on friends, on school, on dating, on sports or other hobbies. Ask for his counsel on your Church assignments, on preparing for your mission, on decisions or choices you have to make. Nothing shows respect for another person as much as asking for his advice, because what you are really saying when you ask for advice is, “I appreciate what you know and the experiences you have had, and I value your ideas and suggestions.” Those are nice things for a father to hear from his son.

In my experience, fathers who are asked for advice try harder to give good, sound, useful counsel. By asking your father for advice, you not only receive the benefit of his input, but you also provide him with a little extra motivation to strive to be a better father and a better man. He will think more carefully about whatever it is that he advises, and he will work harder to “walk the talk.” Young men, ask your dad for advice!

OK, fathers, now it’s your turn. Let’s talk about some things you can do to enhance your relationship with your sons. You will notice that there is some linkage between the three suggestions I am going to give you and the suggestions I just gave your sons. That isn’t coincidental.

First, fathers, listen to your sons—really listen to them. Ask the right kind of questions, and listen to what your sons have to say each time you have a few minutes together. You need to know—not to guess but to know—what is going on in your son’s life. Don’t assume that you know how he feels just because you were young once. Your sons live in a very different world from the one in which you grew up. As they share with you what’s going on, you will have to listen very carefully and without being judgmental in order to understand what they are thinking and experiencing.

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Father often took us fishing. Alan, Merrill, Wayne.

Find your own best way to connect. Some fathers like to take their sons fishing or to a sporting event. Others like to go on a quiet drive or work side by side in the yard. Some find their sons enjoy conversations at night just before going to bed. Do whatever works best for you. A one-on-one relationship should be a routine part of your stewardship with your sons. Every father needs at least one focused, quality conversation with his sons every month during which they talk about specific things such as school, friends, feelings, video games, text messaging, worthiness, faith, and testimony. Where or when this happens isn’t nearly as important as the fact that it happens.

Father taught us to work but listened.

And oh, how fathers need to listen. Remember, conversation where you do 90 percent of the talking is not a conversation. Use the word “feel” as often as you comfortably can in your discussions with your sons. Ask: “How do you feel about what you’re learning in that class?” “How do you feel about what your friend said?” “How do you feel about your priesthood and the Church?”

Don’t think you have to try to fix everything or solve everything during these visits. Most of the time, the best thing you can do is just listen. Fathers who listen more than they talk find that their sons share more about what is really going on in their lives. Dads, listen to your sons.

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Second, pray with and for your sons. Give them priesthood blessings. A son who is worried about a big exam or a special event will surely benefit from a father’s priesthood blessing. Occasions like the start of a new school year, a birthday, or as he begins to date may be opportune times to call upon the Lord to bless your son. One-on-one prayer and the sharing of testimonies can draw you closer to each other as well as closer to the Lord.

I am mindful that many of you fathers suffer heartache over sons who have strayed and are being captured by the world, just as Alma and Mosiah worried about their sons. Continue to do all you can to maintain strong family relationships. Never give up, even when fervent prayer in their behalf is all you can do. These precious sons of yours are your sons forever! Fathers, pray with and bless your sons.  

Third, dare to have the “big talks” with your sons. You know what I mean: talks about drugs and drinking, about the dangers of today’s media—the Internet, cyber technologies, and pornography—and about priesthood worthiness, respect for girls, and moral cleanliness. While these should not be the only subjects you talk about with your sons, please don’t shy away from them. Your boys need your counsel, guidance, and input on these subjects. As you talk about these very important matters, you will find that the trust between you will flourish.

I am especially concerned that we communicate openly and clearly with our sons about sexual matters. Your sons are growing up in a world that openly embraces and flaunts early, casual, and thoughtless promiscuity. Your sons simply cannot avoid the blatant sexual imagery, messages, and enticements that are all around them. Fathers and Church leaders need to have open and frequent discussions that teach and clarify how young men of the priesthood handle this issue. Be positive about how wonderful and beautiful physical intimacy can be when it happens within the bounds the Lord has set, including temple covenants and commitments of eternal marriage. Studies show that the biggest deterrent to casual sexual activity is a wholesome attitude that connects such personal relationships with genuine commitment and mature love. Fathers, if you have not had this “big talk” with your sons, please do so, and do it soon.

And fathers, the three suggestions I made to you moments ago absolutely apply to your relationships with your returned missionary sons. Listen to them, and connect with them in regular, focused conversation. Talk with them in depth about their feelings and desires. Pray with them, and give them blessings as they face the important decisions in their future.

Alex at Temple Leaving on Mission.

Elder Ballard says to young men like mine who are returned missionaries to “trust your father. You can be closer to him now than ever before regardless of what your relationship was like before your mission. During the next few years, you will make the most important decisions of your life. Along with prayer to your Heavenly Father, advice from your earthly father can help you make those decisions concerning your education, career choice, and marriage. The most important decision you will make in this life is the decision to marry the right girl in the temple! While no one should rush this significant decision, all returned missionaries should be working on it. Be where you can meet the right kind of friends. And go on dates. Hanging out is not the way, nor is it enough! Courting seems to be a lost art. Rediscover it. It really works! Ask your fathers—they know! Do not drift to the ways of the world. Rather, maintain the dignity and the Spirit you enjoyed on your mission. The Church will need your leadership in the future.”

(Alan, My Father George, My son Scott – 3 generations)

I have never been a father before.  I have watched my father while growing up and how he handled problems, made decisions, and handled situations as I grew older.  With my eight sons, I have often tried to remember those times and have applied it to my own sons.  I remind them that this life is a time to make choices; that those choices that we made in heaven before we came here determined where we are in this life.  And, the choices we make here will decide which mansion in heaven we go to after we die and return to our Heavenly parents.  I cannot tell them who to love.  I cannot tell them what you should do for a living.  But what I can do is show continual love and support and be there to catch them should they fall.

We need to make our homes a place of refuge from the storm, which is increasing in intensity all about us. Even if the smallest openings are left unattended, negative influences can penetrate the very walls of our homes.

Alan Osmond
For the Family

M. Russell Ballard
A Talk from General Conference