DOING THE RIGHT THING MATTERS! "Teach more people more truth, and they will improve their own lives."
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This chapter includes some parts that are beyond the maturity of young children. It is best to wait until children are old enough to understand sexual relations and procreation before teaching them these parts of the chapter. Our Church leaders have told us that parents are responsible to teach their children about procreation (the process of conceiving and bearing children). Parents must also teach them the law of chastity, which is explained in this chapter.
Parents can begin teaching children to have proper attitudes toward their bodies when children are very young. Talking to children frankly but reverently and using the correct names for the parts and functions of their bodies will help them grow up without unnecessary embarrassment about their bodies.
Children are naturally curious. They want to know how their bodies work. They want to know where babies come from. If parents answer all such questions immediately and clearly so children can understand, children will continue to take their questions to their parents. However, if parents answer questions so that children feel embarrassed, rejected, or dissatisfied, they will probably go to someone else with their questions and perhaps get incorrect ideas and improper attitudes.
It is not wise or necessary, however, to tell children everything at once. Parents need only give them the information they have asked for and can understand. While answering these questions, parents can teach children the importance of respecting their bodies and the bodies of others. Parents should teach children to dress modestly. They should correct the false ideas and vulgar language that children learn from others.
By the time children reach maturity, parents should have frankly discussed procreation with them. Children should understand that these powers are good and were given to us by the Lord. He expects us to use them within the bounds He has given us.
Little children come to earth pure and innocent from Heavenly Father. As parents pray for guidance, the Lord will inspire them to teach children at the right time and in the right way.
The Power of Procreation
Why should parents teach their children about procreation and chastity?
How can they appropriately do this?
God commanded each living thing to reproduce after its own kind (see Genesis 1:22). Reproduction was part of His plan so that all forms of life could continue to exist upon the earth.
Then He placed Adam and Eve on the earth. They were different from His other creations because they were His spirit children. In the Garden of Eden, He brought Adam and Eve together in marriage and commanded them to multiply and replenish the earth (see Genesis 1:28). However, their lives were to be governed by moral laws rather than by instinct.
God wanted His spirit children to be born into families so they could be properly cared for and taught. We, like Adam and Eve, are to provide physical bodies for these spirit children.
The First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles have stated, “We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102).
God has commanded us that only in marriage between a man and a woman are we to have sexual relations. This commandment is called the law of chastity.
What is the Law of Chastity?
We are to have sexual relations only with our spouse to whom we are legally married. No one, male or female, is to have sexual relations before marriage. After marriage, sexual relations are permitted only with our spouse.
To the Israelites the Lord said, “Thou shalt not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14). Those Israelites who broke this commandment were subject to severe penalties. The Lord has repeated this commandment in the latter days (see D&C 42:24).
We have been taught that the law of chastity encompasses more than sexual intercourse. The First Presidency warned young people of other sexual sins:
“Before marriage, do not do anything to arouse the powerful emotions that must be expressed only in marriage. Do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing. Do not allow anyone to do that with you. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body” (For the Strength of Youth [pamphlet, 2001], 27).
Like other violations of the law of chastity, homosexual behavior is a serious sin. Latter-day prophets have spoken about the dangers of homosexual behavior and about the Church’s concern for people who may have such inclinations. President Gordon B. Hinckley said:
“In the first place, we believe that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God. We believe that marriage may be eternal through exercise of the power of the everlasting priesthood in the house of the Lord.
“People inquire about our position on those who consider themselves so-called gays and lesbians. My response is that we love them as sons and daughters of God. They may have certain inclinations which are powerful and which may be difficult to control. Most people have inclinations of one kind or another at various times. If they do not act upon these inclinations, then they can go forward as do all other members of the Church. If they violate the law of chastity and the moral standards of the Church, then they are subject to the discipline of the Church, just as others are.
“We want to help these people, to strengthen them, to assist them with their problems and to help them with their difficulties. But we cannot stand idle if they indulge in immoral activity, if they try to uphold and defend and live in a so-called same-sex marriage situation. To permit such would be to make light of the very serious and sacred foundation of God-sanctioned marriage and its very purpose, the rearing of families”
Satan Wants Us to Break the Law of Chastity
What are some ways Satan tempts people to break the law of chastity?
Satan’s plan is to deceive as many of us as he can to prevent us from returning to live with our Heavenly Father. One of the most damaging things he can do is entice us to break the law of chastity. He is cunning and powerful. He would like us to believe it is no sin to break this law. Many people have been deceived. We must guard ourselves against evil influences.
Satan attacks the standards of modesty. He wants us to believe that because the human body is beautiful, it is something to flaunt and expose. Our Heavenly Father wants us to keep our bodies covered so that we do not encourage improper thoughts in the minds of others.
Satan not only encourages us to dress immodestly, but he also encourages us to think immoral or improper thoughts. He does this with pictures, movies, stories, jokes, music, and dances that suggest immoral acts. The law of chastity requires that our thoughts as well as our actions be pure. The prophet Alma taught that when we are judged by God, “our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God” (Alma 12:14).
Jesus taught, “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
“But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matthew 5:27–28).
President Gordon B. Hinckley warned: “You live in a world of terrible temptations.
Pornography, with its sleazy filth, sweeps over the earth like a horrible, engulfing tide. It is poison. Do not watch it or read it. It will destroy you if you do. It will take from you your self-respect. It will rob you of a sense of the beauties of life. It will tear you down and pull you into a slough of evil thoughts and possibly of evil actions. Stay away from it. Shun it as you would a foul disease, for it is just as deadly. Be virtuous in thought and in deed. God has planted in you, for a purpose, a divine urge which may be easily subverted to evil and destructive ends. When you are young, do not get involved in steady dating. When you reach an age where you think of marriage, then is the time to become so involved. But you boys who are in high school don’t need this, and neither do the girls” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1997, 71–72; or Ensign, Nov. 1997, 51).
Satan sometimes tempts us through our emotions. He knows when we are lonely, confused, or depressed. He chooses this time of weakness to tempt us to break the law of chastity. Our Heavenly Father can give us the strength to pass through these trials unharmed.
The scriptures tell about a righteous young man named Joseph who was greatly trusted by his master, Potiphar. Potiphar had given Joseph command over everything he had. Potiphar’s wife lusted after Joseph and tempted him to commit adultery with her. But Joseph resisted her and fled from her. (See Genesis 39:1–18.)
Paul taught, “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). Alma emphasized that we will “not be tempted above that which [we] can bear” as we “humble [ourselves] before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually” (Alma 13:28).
How are modesty and chastity related? How can parents teach their children to be modest in dress, language, and behavior?
How can we fight the spread and influence of pornography?
What promises has the Lord given us to help us overcome Satan’s temptations?
Breaking the Law of Chastity Is Extremely Serious
The prophet Alma grieved because one of his sons had broken the law of chastity. Alma said to his son Corianton, “Know ye not, my son, that these things are an abomination in the sight of the Lord; yea, most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost?” (Alma 39:5). Unchastity is next to murder in seriousness.
If a man and a woman break the law of chastity and conceive a child, they may be tempted to
commit another abominable sin: abortion. There is seldom any justifiable reason for abortion. Church leaders have said that some exceptional circumstances may justify an abortion, such as when pregnancy is the result of incest or rape, when the life or health of the mother is judged by competent medical authority to be in serious jeopardy, or when the fetus is known by competent medical authority to have severe defects that will not allow the baby to survive beyond birth. But even these circumstances do not automatically justify an abortion. Those who face such circumstances should consider abortion only after consulting with their local Church leaders and receiving a confirmation through earnest prayer.
“When a man and woman conceive a child out of wedlock, every effort should be made to encourage them to marry. When the probability of a successful marriage is unlikely due to age or other circumstances, unwed parents should be counseled to place the child for adoptionthrough LDS Family Services to ensure that the baby will be sealed to temple-worthy parents” (First Presidency letter, June 26, 2002, and July 19, 2002).
It is extremely important to our Heavenly Father that His children obey the law of chastity. Members of the Church who break this law or influence others to do so are subject to Church discipline.
Those Who Break the Law of Chastity Can Be Forgiven
Peace can come to those who have broken the law of chastity. The Lord tells us, “If the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, … all his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him” (Ezekiel 18:21–22). Peace comes only through forgiveness.
President Kimball said: “To every forgiveness there is a condition. … The fasting, the prayers, the humility must be equal to or greater than the sin. There must be a broken heart and a contrite spirit. … There must be tears and genuine change of heart. There must be conviction of the sin, abandonment of the evil, confession of the error to properly constituted authorities of the Lord” (The Miracle of Forgiveness , 353).
For many people, confession is the most difficult part of repentance. We must confess not only to the Lord but also to the person we have offended, such as a husband or wife, and to the proper priesthood authority. The priesthood leader (bishop or stake president) will judge our standing in the Church. The Lord told Alma, “Whosoever transgresseth against me … if he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also” (Mosiah 26:29).
But President Kimball warned: “Even though forgiveness is so abundantly promised there is no promise nor indication of forgiveness to any soul who does not totally repent. … We can hardly be too forceful in reminding people that they cannot sin and be forgiven and then sin again and again and expect repeated forgiveness” (The Miracle of Forgiveness, 353, 360). Those who receive forgiveness and then repeat the sin are held accountable for their former sins (see D&C 82:7;Ether 2:15).
Those Who Keep the Law of Chastity Are Greatly Blessed
What blessings do we receive as we keep the law of chastity?
When we obey the law of chastity, we can live without guilt or shame. Our lives and our children’s lives are blessed when we keep ourselves pure and spotless before the Lord. Children can look to our example and follow in our footsteps.
LDS Church, Governments and Humanitarian Partners Aid Refugees in Europe
Apostle visits shelters in Germany and Greece
FRANKFURT, GERMANY —
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is continuing its long-standing partnership with international humanitarian organizations to tend to the dire needs of refugees entering Europe. Support is underway to provide food, shelter, clothing and medical supplies and other life-sustaining necessities.
Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, the second-highest presiding body of the Church, just returned from visiting a refugee shelter in Berlin, Germany, and two sites on the Greek island of Lesbos. Elder Ballard was there to show his support and to gather firsthand impressions of the tremendous humanitarian effort for those who have lost everything fleeing civil conflict in their own countries.
“It’s overwhelming to see the magnitude of the size of this problem,” explained Elder Ballard. “I think what surprised me the most was the size of it. We saw a lot of pictures, we’ve heard a lot of reports, but it’s different when you come here on the ground and you walk through the camps and you see the faces.”
“The scale of this human tide has to be seen to be believed,” expressed Elder Ballard. “I have seen our people working alongside new friends of all faiths and nationalities to relieve the suffering of those who have been driven from their homes and countries. I am so grateful for the dedicated service of all involved to bring relief to those who need it most.”
The Church follows the admonition of Jesus Christ found in Matthew in the New Testament to take in the stranger and care for those in need (see Matthew 25:35–36). And there is much need.
“What we are seeing is the fulfilment of the Lord’s request to His teaching that we’re to reach out, touch and bless the lives of our Father’s children regardless of where they are, regardless what their circumstances are; we do what we can do,” said Elder Ballard.
Baroness Marie-Catherine Heereman leads a charitable group that oversees several “villages” like the one in Berlin. An exhibition center converted into living spaces at the beginning of October now houses some 1,000 people who have endured visible hardship on their journey for protection and shelter.
“When they come here they do not have any luggage at all; they have just what they are [wearing], which is frequently dirty and wet,” said the baroness.
“We’ve seen the great, wonderful open hearts of the German people,” exclaimed Elder Ballard. “I love that the first words they said to us were, ‘These are our guests.’ That’s a great message for the whole world.”
Mormon volunteers assembled hygiene kits at the shelter and passed out pallets of toys provided by the Church during Elder Ballard’s visit. “What a wonderful thing to see, … the children run in and have a toy,” said Elder Ballard. “They … would melt the heart of anyone.”
The Church is working with organizations such as UNICEF, the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR), Malteser Germany, the Crisis Management Center of the Republic of Macedonia, Catholic Relief Services, Medici per i Diritti Umani (MEDU) and the International Medical Corps.
“We are pleased to work with such compassionate and experienced partners,” said Church leader Elder Patrick Kearon, president of the Europe Area. “We have seen what they do and are confident that our joint efforts will make a difference in the lives of those fleeing from war and misery.”
“There’s so much more that people can do, so much more to be done,” added Elder Kearon after visiting a refugee shelter on the Greek island of Lesbos with Elder Ballard to learn more details and express their appreciation for the service rendered to those in need. “I see opportunities for us to continue with the partnerships that we’ve had and forge new ones too.”
With the help of the Church, UNHCR assists refugees by offering information about their rights and providing food, water, shelter and medical care. The project supported by the Church will focus on Greece and the Balkans. Elder Ballard and Elder Kearon visited a shelter on one of the Greek islands where refugees first arrive in Europe to learn more details and express their appreciation for the service rendered to those in need.
The Church is also supporting a project by the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) to grant help to 225,000 children from refugee families in Italy — 90,000 over the next six months. Children are receiving clothing, blankets and toys. Supplementary feeding kits will be available to younger children and their parents.
UNICEF creates child-friendly spaces in refugee shelters to help children experience an environment that will allow them to deal with trauma and distress. Refugee children on the transit area between Greece and Slovenia will be provided with winter caps to protect them from the cold.
The Church has funded a mobile medical unit for a MEDU (Physicians for Human Rights), a nonprofit organization based in Italy.
The International Medical Corps provides primary medical and psychological services to refugees arriving on various Greek islands, including Leros, Samos and Kos. With financial assistance from the Church, this humanitarian organization will administer medical and psychological care and refer those in need to local hospitals for higher-level care.
Catholic Relief Services has been a trusted partner of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for many years. In Serbia and Macedonia, both organizations will cooperate to provide food, emergency supplies and psychological counseling to refugees and their families. The Church also supports Caritas in Athens to aid refugees.
The Church has been providing aid to refugees in the Middle East for more than a decade, donating hundreds of thousands of blankets, clothes, emergency medical supplies, food and other resources to refugees in Jordan, Lebanon, Turkey and Syria.
An announcement was made at the end of September stating that Mormons in Europe, supported by Church headquarters in the United States, will be stepping up their aid to refugees fleeing to Europe.
The Church made a commitment of $5 million to immediately help displaced families. In addition, members worldwide have been asked by the Church’s First Presidency to provide assistance to refugees by making contributions and participating in local relief projects.
This week, the World Congress of Families meets in Salt Lake City, Utah. This is the ninth meeting of the Congress and the first to be held in the United States. It is appropriate that the milestone would take place in Utah, a state so firmly committed to the centrality of family.
In his opening remarks at the Congress, Elder M. Russell Ballard, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, noted that in today’s world “marriage and children are increasingly marginalized.”
Elder M Richard Ballard
That reality is ironic, perhaps tragic, when, more than ever, we know more and more about why marriage is central to a decent, humane and robust society.
Recently, writing in National Review Online, family scholar W. Bradford Wilcox noted: “It’s been a rough two weeks for the family-structure denialists, those progressive academics, journalists, and pundits who seek to minimize or deny the importance of marriage and family structure. That’s because three new pieces of scholarship — a journal, a report, and a study — were released this month that solidify the growing scientific consensus that marriage and family structure matter for children, families, and the nation as a whole.”
The journal he is referring to was a special issue of The Future of Children, published by Princeton University and the Brookings Institution. It includes half a dozen scholarly articles about marriage and family.
In that issue, Dr. David Ribar of the University of Melbourne argues “the advantages of marriage for children’s wellbeing are likely to be hard to replicate through policy interventions other than those that bolster marriage itself.” In another important article, Dr. Wilcox and his colleagues describe how “growing individualism and the waning of a family-oriented ethos, the rise of a ‘capstone’ model of marriage, and the decline of civil society” have contributed to a “retreat from marriage and the growing class divide in marriage.”
Dr. Wilcox was also a co-author, with Robert I. Lerman of the Urban Institute and Joseph Price of Brigham Young University, of the recently released report “Strong families, prosperous states: Do healthy families affect the wealth of states?” published by the American Enterprise Institute. The report explains: “Higher levels of marriage, and especially higher levels of married-parent families, are strongly associated with more economic growth, more economic mobility, less child poverty, and higher median family income at the state level in the United States.”
In addition, “The share of parents in a state who are married is one of the top predictors of the economic outcomes studied in this report. In fact, this family factor is generally a stronger predictor of economic mobility, child poverty, and median family income in the American states than are the educational, racial, and age compositions of the states.”
Highlighting one particular result: “Violent crime is much less common in states with larger shares of families headed by married parents, even after controlling for a range of socio-demographic factors at the state level. … This is noteworthy because high crime rates lower the quality of life and real living standards and are associated with lower levels of economic growth and mobility.”
The study Dr. Wilcox referred to was conducted by MIT professor David Autor and his colleagues. Dr. Wilcox explains that the study showed:
… that less-advantaged boys are floundering in school and society — and more so than their less-advantaged female peers — in part because, compared with more-advantaged boys, they are less likely to grow up in a married home with their father. In particular, compared with their sisters, less-advantaged boys “have a higher incidence of truancy and behavioral problems throughout elementary and middle school, exhibit higher rates of behavioral and cognitive disability, perform worse on standardized tests, are less likely to graduate high school, and are more likely to commit serious crimes as juveniles.”
One big reason for this growing gender gap in educational, behavioral, and social outcomes between less-advantaged boys and girls is that boys are often hit harder by the absence of married parents and of a father than are girls, according to Autor’s new study.
With all of this, it is clear that marriage still matters, and strengthening marriage and family remain important social priorities.
For Sutherland Institute, I’m Dave Buer. Thanks for listening.
This post is a transcript of the Sutherland Soapbox, a weekly radio commentary aired on several Utah radio stations. The podcast can be found below.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has made changes to its handbook for stake presidents, bishops and other local leaders that reaffirms its doctrine of marriage and offers clarification on issues that may arise from same-sex marriage.
“Church handbooks are policy and procedural guides for lay leaders who must administer the church in many varied circumstances throughout the world,” LDS Church spokesman Eric Hawkins said. “The Church has long been on record as opposing same-sex marriages. While it respects the law of the land, and acknowledges the right of others to think and act differently, it does not perform or accept same-sex marriage within its membership.”
The handbook now includes being in a same-sex marriage under the definition of apostasy and as a circumstance that requires the convening of a disciplinary council. The handbook also clarifies that the ordinance of naming and blessing a child may not be performed for children living with a parent in a same-gender relationship.
The new section of the handbook is listed under the heading “Children of a Parent Living in a Same-Gender Relationship.” It states that “a natural or adopted child of a parent living in a same-gender relationship, whether the couple is married or cohabiting, may not receive a name and a blessing.”
Although children are not officially considered members of the LDS Church until they are baptized at age 8, the blessing of a child creates a membership record. Children are not considered accountable or mature enough to receive baptism until the age of 8.
The handbook addition also states that “a natural or adopted child of a parent living in a same-gender relationship, whether the couple is married or cohabiting,” can only be baptized, confirmed, ordained to the priesthood or serve a full-time mission with approval from the Office of the First Presidency. A mission or stake president may request approval and determine that: “the child accepts and is committed to live the teachings and doctrine of the church, and specifically disavows the practice of same-gender cohabitation and marriage”; and “the child is of legal age and does not live with a parent who has lived or currently lives in a same-gender cohabitation relationship or marriage.”
The language of being in a same-gender marriage has been added to the definition of apostasy as it relates to helping leaders know when a church disciplinary council is mandatory.
Elder Christofferson Provides Context on Handbook Changes Affecting Same-Sex Marriages
“And if ye shall say there is no law, ye shall also say there is no sin. If ye shall say there is no sin, ye shall also say there is no righteousness. And if there be no righteousness there be no happiness. And if there be no righteousness nor happiness there be no punishment nor misery. And if these things are not there is no God. And if there is no God we are not, neither the earth; for there could have been no creation of things, neither to act nor to be acted upon; wherefore, all things must have vanished away. And now, my sons, I speak unto you these things for your profit and learning; for there is a God, and he hath created all things, both the heavens and the earth, and all things that in them are, both things to act and things to be acted upon.” 2 Nephi 2:13-14
In 1855, George Osmond married Mary Georgina Huckvale in St. Louis, Missouri, and they eventually settled in Idaho where they were the parents of ten children. In 1881, George Osmond married his second wife, Christena Amelia Jacobsen, and they eventually settled in Wyoming where they were the parents of seven children.
George Osmond Jr. served two two-year LDS missions in England–from 1834 to 1886 and 1890 to 1892. He was a successful farmer, rancher and businessman, a probate judge in Idaho, a state Senator in Wyoming, and a beloved LDS Stake President of Star Valley, Wyoming from 1892 until his death in 1913.
Today, a friend, Dale Tingey, shared this note with me this morning, it made me think about my Great Grandfather and others who have lived their lives well.
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
This is truly how my Great Grandfather was known and loved by all. I share the following to give all hope that there is life after death, and we are being watched over by guardian angels, who are most likely our relatives that have passed on. We each came here as Spirit children with spirit bodies that entered a body of flesh and bones at birth. Because of Jesus Christ and His resurrection, all mankind will live again and the spirit and mortal bodies will be brought together to never again be parted.
“To escort President George Osmond into the spirit world may have been the reason for the return of George’s friend, John D. Wilkes, of Afton, Wyoming, as was seen by his wife, Lucella Child Wilkes. During the years following his death in 1905, Brother Wilkes, or “Johnny” as he was better known, returned to earth on several occasions, according to the account of his niece, Vern R. Morgan:
When the Star Valley Stake in Wyoming was organized in August 18992, Elder George Osmond was chosen as the first Stake President.
Aunt Luella and Uncle Johnny worked together on the Sunday School Stake Board and became very close and friendly with President Osmond. After her husband’s untimely death he often counseled and helped her with many problems. His spiritual and kindly advice gave her much consolation…
About 1907-1908, President Osmond became critically ill and for days it was feared he would die. He finally recovered and afterward he told my aunt thaton a certain night Johnny had appeared at his bedside. President Osmond asked Johnny, ‘Am I to go with you?’ Johnny told him that they were ‘not ready for him yet– he was to finish his work here, and he would live to see it finished.’ He was dressed in white and his voice was as natural as ever, President Osmond said. The singular thing about this experience was as natural as ever, President Osmond said. The singular thing about this experience was that on that very same night Johnny had also appeared to my aunt in a dream and told her that ‘everything will be alright, do not worry.’
Aunt Luella also commented on Johnny’s voice. He had always had a beautiful resonant voice and that when he spoke to her this same night he appeared to President Osmond, he sounded so natural.It gave her great peace of mind as she had had many business worries and the visit of her husband gave her confidence that all things would work out alright.
At the age of 77 President Osmond died on the 25th of March, 1913.The night he died, Johnny again appeared to my aunt in a dream. He was walking down the street on which President Osmond lived. She saw him turn in at the gate at his house and go into his home. The next morning she was notified of President Osmond’s death.
I testify that as we live, we will die. And because of Jesus Christ, as we die, we will live again!
May we each live our lives with faith, hope, confidence and purpose; always striving to be the person we were sent to this world to become knowing we will remain here until our work is finished!
We are not alone. Every action and even our thoughts are being recorded for a wise purpose. We were not to remember the spirit world from whence we came while here on earth as we came here to be tested. If that knowledge were remembered, it would nullify the test. Yes, one day, all memory of our pre-existence before and existence now will be unlocked as we will face our maker and ‘return and report’ our mission and our time here on earth; to be judged and assigned a certain glory for our good works or not.
We are never too old or unworthy to change for the better. Yes, it takes work but it is worth it and the blessings ‘are out of this world’!!! Again,
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
Happiness happens, and will follow our rewards in heaven and they will be worthy of our time spent away from our Heavenly Parents while here on earth.
“And he said unto him,
Son, thou art ever with me,
and all that I have is thine.” Luke 15:31
A family begins when a young man and woman are drawn to one another by an irresistible force of nature. They offer to one another that which distinguishes him as male and her as female, and they want, above all else, to find the one with whom they can completely express their love. They want to have children—to be a family.
These compelling forces of nature should not be resisted, only approached cautiously, protecting those life-generating powers until promises have been made to one another, covenants with the Lord, and a legal ceremony performed, witnessed, and recorded.
Then, and only then, as husband and wife, man and woman, may they join together in that expression of love through which life is created.
We, like Jacob, must teach “according to the strict commands of God,” “notwithstanding the greatness of the task.” Like Jacob, we also run the risk of enlarging “the wounds of those who are already wounded, instead of consoling and healing their wounds.”7
When we speak plainly of divorce, abuse, gender identity, contraception, abortion, parental neglect, we are thought by some to be way out of touch or to be uncaring. Some ask if we know how many we hurt when we speak plainly. Do we know of marriages in trouble, of the many who remain single, of single-parent families, of couples unable to have children, of parents with wayward children, or of those confused about gender? Do we know? Do we care?
Those who ask have no idea how much we care; you know little of the sleepless nights, of the endless hours of work, of prayer, of study, of travel—all for the happiness and redemption of mankind.
Because we do know and because we do care, we must teach the rules of happiness without dilution, apology, or avoidance. That is our calling.
I would like to suggest 10 specific things to help you be successful in the plan the Lord would have you follow in your life.
First, establish a set of principles by which you will guide every aspect of your life—in your home, in your Church service, in your profession, in your community. Many people try to compartmentalize their life and have a standard for Church and another standard for what they do in business and in other aspects of their life. I very strongly counsel you not to do that. There really is only one set of standards that makes sense. Those are the teachings of Jesus Christ, which signal to us the importance of faith, service, obedience, and integrity.
Second, don’t make exceptions to your standards. Never compromise them. One of the ways the Lord protects us is to give us guidance in life. One of the ways Satan tries to destroy us is to subtly lead us away from what we know is centrally important in our life. I lived in Washington, D.C., for much of my life, and I recall on occasion men coming to that city who had been elected as representatives of the government and who were members of the Church. Some of them used the teachings of the Savior throughout their careers and became great servants. Others early in their careers began to reason, “If we were better friends with others and were better understood, we would receive positions that would put us in a place where we could serve better.” They began to make small exceptions to the standards by which they knew they should guide their lives. Few even remember them. They lost because they made exceptions to standards. Don’t make that mistake. Be loyal to the teachings you have received from your parents and Church leaders. They are the things of greatest worth. If you integrate your formal education with what you know about the teachings of the Lord and the examples of those worthy people who are role models to you, you will have a solid foundation. You will be productive and do things that are worthwhile for others.
Third, be loyal. Be loyal to your parents and your loved ones. Above all, be loyal to Jesus Christ, the Savior. Success comes when your actions are consistent with the teachings of the Lord. When you seek work, find something that challenges you, that raises you to higher levels of performance. It may be harder, but you will grow, develop better, and contribute more good. You really have no idea yet who you are and what you can accomplish in life. You have great potential far beyond what you can imagine today.
. Fourth, live so that the Lord can guide you to where He wants you to be and to serve. He can do that if you live His commandments worthily and strive in every way to be obedient to His teachings.
Fifth, serve others. Sharing what you know with others will bring you happiness and bless their lives.
Sixth, smile. I don’t mean that you need to be cracking jokes every day, but a good joke now and then is an escape valve. Life is not all that bad. You will soon learn that everybody has problems and nobody wants to hear about yours. Put those things aside and smile. Have a good sense of humor, as the prophets do. I wish I could tell you some of the things that we talk about. Not flippant things, not things that are inappropriate—just a good sense of humor. I will tell you a secret of how to wake up in the morning with a smile on your face no matter how you feel: go to bed with a coat hanger in your mouth. Remember, a good sense of humor helps you greatly.
Seventh, don’t complain. Life isn’t always fair. That’s a fact. But it’s always charged with marvelous opportunities if you know how to find them. I remember once when I was working as hard as I knew how. I happened to be working for a man who took all of the ideas and suggestions and work that I did and passed them on to his superior as though they were his own suggestions. For a while I was really upset about that. As I pondered it, a thought came to me, and I decided from then on I would write reports to him of everything that I was doing or trying to do, and I sent a copy to his boss. He didn’t like that, but it worked beautifully.
Eighth, always have a Church assignment. I don’t mean that you should ask for a particular calling, but wherever you go in the world, wherever the Lord takes you, always offer your service to the presiding authority. Leave it to that authority to decide where and how. Be connected with the things of God and the ways to serve Him. The last two are the most important.
Ninth, go to the temple. Carry a current temple recommend. There may be a few young adults who will want to wait to go to the temple for their endowment when they go with their companion to be sealed. But virtually everyone can obtain and keep a temple recommend. It will keep you spiritually in tune, will allow you to remember the most important things of life, and will encourage you to give great service to others.
Tenth, use the Savior Jesus Christ as your example for life. Use His teachings as your handbook for life. Never make exceptions to them. Will you prayerfully consider the things we have discussed? There are many willing to be led by your righteous example. Because you have been enlightened, you owe to those who follow you the best example you are capable of giving. Not only will they be blessed, but your life will be enriched as well.
Come to know of the great influence for good that flows from individual acts born of conscience and principle rooted in truth. Resolve that each moment of your life will reflect your determination to humbly be an example of righteousness, integrity, and conviction. With such a life you will surely succeed in the purpose for which you came to earth.
Do What Is Right!
I began this message indicating that I have validated in my personal life the truth of the principles shared. There have been times when my choice to stand for principle against strong forces implied that there would be significant personal loss by taking that action. But that did not deter me. I was determined to do what was right. The anticipated loss, however, never came. Somehow, doing what was right in time opened far greater and more meaningful opportunities.
I testify that you will never go wrong when you trust in the Lord and in His promises, no matter how severe the challenge.