By Alan on Jul 27 in Blog tagged care, corner, cowboy, cruel, dance, dirty, ears, experience, fences, forgive, grudge, influence, interfere, judge, judgment, kindly, life, love, older, saddle, sermons, skunks, think, tractor, troublemaker, wallow, whispered, wisdom, words | Comments Off

WORDS of WISDOM from the SADDLE

By Alan on Mar 17 in Blog tagged caring, caring involvement, child's potential, clear standards, family life, father's primary responsibilities, fatherhood, fathering, governance of the family, heavenly parents, high ideals for men, Honor thy Father, influence, Key principles and practices, left to man's wife, moral behavior, nurturing environment, power in righteousness, primary responsibility, Sean E. Brotherson, son or daughter, teaching, the Church, the live of their children, the school, worthy of honor | Comments Off

Key Principles and Practices in Fathering

“Honor Thy Father”

From SINAI long ago rang a sacred invitation from  the God iof Israel.  “Honour thy father and thy mother”  (Exodus. 20: 12).

There is much to consider in this invitation and divine command.  A perspective of fathering that embraces the divine injunction to “honor thy father” suggests a set of high ideals for men in family life.  Indeed if men wish to receive honor in their efforts as fathers, then it is essential that they be worthy of honor.

Clear standards of moral behavior and caring involvement defines a father’s primary responsibilities in family life.  The teaching and governance of the family must not be left to a man’s wife alone, to society, to school, or even the Church.  To father a child is more than a biological act or fulfillment of a social role.  To father a child is to accept a divine calling, a moral stewardship, and a lasting commitment across generations.  A father’s calling is an eternal calling from which he is never released.

Fathers have the ability, for good or ill,
to exercise great power and influence in
the lives of their children and families.

Power alone, however, is not what a father truly needs, nor does he need only the ability to influence and direct a child’s life, thoughts, and feelings.  A father needs the power to bless his children.  Men do not bless by the mere exercise of power.  They bless only by the exercise of power in righteousness.  To be a holy figure in the life of a child, in the life of a family, requires an association with powers that exist beyond our own mortal abilities.  Power in righteousness comes only as we associate ourselves through prayer and sacred living with the powers of heaven.  “The powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness.”  D&C 121: 36

The importance of fatherhood and in shaping men and children is linked to our

Heavenly Father’s divine plan of happiness.  The divine pattern for human development establishes that family life is the primary context for the unfolding of our eternal potential.  The journey that each child of God undertakes in the plan of salvation is a developmental journey, a journey of progression, designed to help us acquire spiritual knowledge and character virtues that allow us to grow toward perfection.

Fathers may engage differing aspects of care and involvement at different developmental periods in a child’s life, such as playmate and nurturer during infancy and interpreter of the outside world during middle childhood.  The importance of fathers nurturing and supporting each child’s potential through each phase is affirmed; that the bonds of parents and children are revealed “in family relationships, in attributes and virtues developed in a nurturing environment, and in loving service.”  As fathers practice these essential principles in their lives and relationships, they fulfill their own potential and guide the rising generation toward achieving the divine potential that resides in each of us as “a beloved spirit son or daughter of Heavenly parents.”

Sean E. Brotherson
“Successful Marriages and Families”
For The Family

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By Alan on Jan 10 in Blog tagged an eye on you, at risk, dare to stand alone, example, I'd rather SEE a sermon, influence, say no, see a sermon, take chances, walk with me | 1 Comment

“Being an example is not the main thing in influencing others.

It is the only thing.”

Life is filled with UP’s and DOWN’s.

Why take chances.

Be the one who says NO to those things that could put you at risk.

I’d rather SEE a sermon than HEAR one any day!

I’d rather one would WALK with me than merely POINT the way.

Dare to stand alone.

Be courageous and be prepared to stand for what you believe.

Others will be watching and have an eye on you.

Never disappoint them by the things you say and do.

People who see your good example will trust you and will listen and take you seriously.

.

“Suffer not yourself to be led away by any vain or foolish thing; suffer not the devil to lead away your heart again after those wicked harlots. Behold, O my son, how great iniquity ye brought upon the Zoramites; for when they saw your conduct they would not believe in my words.” Alma 39: 11

Alan Osmond
For The Family

By Alan on Nov 17 in Blog tagged choices, cycle, dysfunctional family, Family, family values, Father, find refuge, Generation, hugs, important, influence, legacy, loved, meals together, molded, mother, parents, positive, potters clay, relationship, rituals, security, self-image, strong family, strong family bonds, The Family, values | Comments Off

FAMILY VALUES 

As a potter molds clay to form a beautiful creation, so does the strong bond of family and good values. Family bonds are a link to our beginning and a guide to our future. Early influences are fundamental to our individual development.

We all want to “belong” and feel accepted. A sense of belonging is derived from the strong bond of family. Family is where our roots take hold and from there we grow. We are molded within a unit, which prepares us for what we will experience in the world and how we react to those experiences. Values are taught at an early age and are carried with us throughout our life.

A close family bond is like a safe harbor where we find refuge. From trusting that someone will pick us up when we fall, as a toddler, to someone being there for us as we experience the storms in life – family bonds help to instill trust and hope in the world around us and belief in ourselves. Rituals of bedtime stories, hugs, holidays and daily meals shared together, provide a sense of warmth, structure and safety. These rituals and traditions, not only create memories and leave a family legacy, but create our first path in life – one that is positive.

Our very spirit can either blossom or wither within the family unit. When we don’t have the security and influence of strong family bonds early in life, the ground work is laid for an emptiness, that is often sought to be filled, through destructive venues. If one isn’t loved as a child, they may later seek love and acceptance in a way that brings them harm. There is a deep yearning to fill that hollowness, residing in the heart and soul, from never knowing what it’s like to be loved, accepted and appreciated for “being”.

There can be long-term effects from living in a detached or dysfunctional family. The cycle is often repeated through generations. Children often grow up believing this dysfunctional unit is normal and they may gravitate toward people and situations that mimic the dysfunction they were accustomed to.
A healthy relationship won’t be easily recognized because it’s foreign to someone who hasn’t lived within a close and loving family. Often drug and alcohol abuse or domestic violence is repeated, whether by a learned behavior or an escape from behavior that was poured upon an innocent child.

A child may have poor self-image, isolating themselves from peers at school or holding anger and pain inside. This not only affects the emotional well-being, but also physical well-being. The poor self-image may be with them throughout life, causing an inability to make positive choices or be close to others. It’s hard to succeed in life when the core of your being has never been nurtured. Healthy development begins before we are born by the choice parents make for the path their children will follow.

Strong family bonds help us to thrive in all aspects of life. Lack of these bonds can lead to forever seeking that something which is missing. Don’t take the value of family bonds for granted. You can mold a beautiful creation for today and the generations that follow!

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will  not depart from it.“ Prov. 22: 6

by Kathy DFor The Family

By Alan on Oct 17 in Blog tagged a problem, aggression, bad words, behavior, conduct, hard not to use it, harmful relationship, influence, music, peppers their speech, profanity, profanity tied to media, swearing, TV shows, video games | Comments Off

Teens who encounter profanity in the TV shows they watch and the video games they play are more likely to swear themselves. And that’s a known risk factor for aggression, both physical and in relationships, according to a BYU study published Monday in the journal Pediatrics.

The study found a “direct link,” wrote the researchers, who had 223 sixth-, seventh- and eight-grade students from a Midwest middle school fill out a survey about the shows they love, how much time they spend watching TV, the video games they play, aggression and how they feel about profanity, as well as whether it peppers their own speech.

Click to enlarge

“What we basically found is that the media you consume in regards to profanity influences how you feel about profanity,” said Laura Stockdale, a Ph.D. candidate who was one of the researchers. “If you think it’s okay, you’re more likely to use it. And that use is associated with being more aggressive with your peers, with your friends, with people who are not your friends — just all-around more aggressive.”

The take-home message, she said, is to pay attention to what children take in. And though the study didn’t look at the impact on adults, she suspects it applies to them, too.

After the students took the survey, the researchers, all from the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University, got the content analysis of the subjects’ favorite shows and compared them to the adolescent ratings.

“They did a pretty good job,” said Stockdale, who noted that the teens know profanity is there, “it just doesn’t change the fact they like the show. But when you hear it through your music and video games and shows, it’s hard not to use it.”

She said the students were candid when asked about their own aggression. “We gave a definition when we asked. Do you hit people when you’re angry? Shove people when you’re angry? Throw things when you’re angry?”

The study noted that exposure to profanity in the media is a problem acknowledged by society, parents, and others. However, research has not examined the relationship between exposure to profanity in the media and subsequent behavior in adolescents.

They believe it’s the first of its kind to reveal any harmful relationship between exposure to profanity in media and attitudinal and behavioral outcomes among adolescents.

The researchers acknowledged that adolescents hear people swear on playgrounds and in school. Asked what good it does to try to protect them from exposures on TV or elsewhere, Stockdale said, “My hope is that everyone will take a step back and say maybe what I’m looking at or listening to really does influence me. If so, I need to be careful what I partake of and what I let my kids partake of.” Study authors were lead author and professor Sarah M. Coyne, Stockdale, David A. Nelson and Ashley Fraser, all from the School of Family Life.

“For when they saw your conduct they would not believe in my words.”  Alma 39: 11

Lois M. Collins - Deseret News
For The Family

By Alan on Nov 16 in Daily Inspiration tagged attack, children, evil, Family, forces, influence, parents, principles | Comments Off

Now more than ever, when we see that the family is at the center of attacks from the forces of evil—as in the days of the prophet Mormon, when “the power of the evil one was wrought upon all the face of the land” (Morm. 1:19)—it is necessary for us as parents to incorporate these principles into our lives in order to radiate their influence and for this influence to be perceived by our children.

It’s TIME to Rescue The Family.  ”For, behold, I will gather them as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, if they will not harden their hearts;”  D&C 10: 65