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By Alan on Dec 26 in Blog tagged alone, Approved, blessed, broke, dedication, Donny Osmond, Excitement, faithful, Family, happy, Loneliness, loving, Marie, married, Mormon, One Take, Popular, religious, rich, Show Business, successful, survival in the entertainment business, tested, thankful, The Family, The Osmond Family, The Osmonds, together, work | 9 Comments
Submitted on 2011/12/27 at 1:39 am
This is Alan. I need to comment!
I was somewhat taken back by this video with this open hearted discussions by Donny and my brothers whom I love. It was hard to hear them say those things that we have kept to ourselves for so many years when we were called goody goody, too clean cut, too Mormon, and that we would never make it in show business because of our righteous, moral and Christian, principle driven family image that we had and yet we had the greatest friends and relationships with the biggest and best names in the business and leaders of the world.
I saw and heard what Donny and my brothers said and sometimes it was really hard times but, can I tell you how much fun we all had together! As the oldest of the brothers, we were treated and loved so well by our fans and friends that even Walt Disney, Elvis Presley, Paul McCartney, Led Zepplin, The Queen of England, Ronald Reagan and others commented how much they liked our family. We had nothing to hide or to prove except to be who we were and to be the best entertainers we could become. We worked hard at it and loved it. (Most of it.)
Yes, we would come off stage just sweaty and tired but were well fulfilled by working hard and in receiving the audiences applause and standing ovations. We had to lease Led Zepplin’s sound system because it was the loudest and our audiences all screamed and couldn’t hear us without it! We were told that we were the loudest group on tour in the 70′s because of all the screaming girls! We were also each others best friends! We sang together, worked together, laughed together, cried together, we prayed together, and gave up much of our childhood and our lives to our careers for each other because we found ourselves within a family of love and togetherness that was unlike any that we had ever seen. Yes, we are normal and have our moments but the strong will of a firm yet loving father and the love and support of a saintly mother, we kept balance in our home and lives. I was ready to leave the group and go serve a mission for our church for two years but was told by the Holy spirit after prayer not to; that I was to stay with my brothers and as a family and continue to spread good will and open doors for the missionaries by setting an example as a family to the world. We believe that God’s Plan of life is the family and we were going to never change the way we lived our lives.
We sacrificed for one another and dedicated our lives to the Lord that we might bring joy and happiness to someone in the audience with every show that we did. We prayed before every show that we might touch someones life for the better and show by example the love that we had among us and for them so that maybe someone would want to know the reason for the happiness, joy, peace and love that they saw and felt among us on stage. We had an act but our family of brotherhood and love for one another was no act! It was real and still is very, very strong and true today.
It was hard being the eldest of the group and the so called, “boss”/”leader” with the responsibility of always trying to make sure we were well rehearsed and ready, and that we came up with an idea of something to do each week on the Andy Williams Shows because we were NOT on the show the next week if we didn’t! That alone made us work together and develop individual talents reaching inside to write songs, learn many different musical instruments, dance, develop our personalities and comedy wit with showmanship that others would want to see.
We were not all Donny Osmond’s and never wanted to be but, we were pleased to be his brother as well as Marie’s and we were supportive and had a slogan that we were, “All for one and one for all”, even if we gave up our personal rock and roll careers. We didn’t care who was out front as long as it was an Osmond! I wasn’t even married 24 hours when Father insisted that I leave my wife Suzanne on my honeymoon and fly to Los Angeles with my youngest brother Jimmy to make sure he was well produced on a TV show that he was doing. Yes, we sacrificed for each other all right but so did our Lord Jesus Christ for all of us. He is our example and mentor. He is the way and the reason for all of the long hard working years we gave and why we lived righteously and never succumbed to the temptations of the flesh. Yes, there were opportunities to slip from our moral commitments but we stood against them together and individually with integrity and we tried to always live His ways and honestly worked hard to live it. No, we aren’t perfect but that’s why we came to earth; to learn.
I wouldn’t trade a day of my life with my best friends, my brothers and Marie. And, let’s not forget our two older brothers who had to watch us from the wings because they were deaf. They were just as important as any one of us and they were our heros! And they knew it!
After I posted this video, I went to bed but woke up knowing that I had to come down and share my heart and let everyone know that we honestly have NO REGRETS for the MOST wonderful years we could have ever lived together in the entertainment, recording, and television business world. We were rich, we were poor, we could live happily with very little and still can give and share what we have been blessed with to each other and know that, “where much is given, much is expected”.
I feel our parents are watching us from up above more than entertainers and musicians but, as successful fathers and a Mother Marie, husbands, wife, with our children who are sealed to us and us to them for time and for all eternity. We plan on being together forever! What is that worth? As Mother would say, “More than tongue can tell.” We spent our lives in Show Business but it was NOT our Life! We don’t take any gold records or STUFF with us after we leave this world but, we DO take wonderful memories with broken hearts and contrite spirits and the oh, so many blessings and friends that we made and love.
What we do take with us are our solid marriages, our individual families and the greatest memories and experiences that anyone could ever have had in this life with each other standing side by side, just as we sang with our first theme song. We may have been a little bit country, and a little bit Rock and Roll, but we are all a whole lot better people for having had the tests and trials that we had as well as the success and recognition that was profound. We could NOT have done it as individuals as well as we did do it as a family; an Eternal and a Forever Family!
By Alan on Dec 04 in Blog tagged be obedient, be thoughtful, children should love their parents, encouragement, express concern, families, feel important, feelings, happy, honor parents, husbands and wives, kind, learn self-control, love, loyalty, never hurt, sacrifice, serve one another, share, sincere praise, value of work | Comments Off
“Strengthening The Family“
Imagine being born without arms. No arms to wrap around a friend ; no hands to hold the ones you love; no fingers to experience touch ; no way to lift or carry things. How much more difficult would life be if you were living without arms and hands? Or what about legs? Imagine if instead of no arms, you had no legs. No ability to dance, walk, run, or even stand. Now put both of those scenarios together… no arms and no legs. What would you do? How would that affect your everyday life?
“If just one more person finds eternal life in Jesus Christ….it is all worth it”. You can help me spread this message today!
Born in 1982 in Brisbane, Australia, without any medical explanation or warning, Nicholas Vujicic came into the world with neither arms nor legs.
Imagine the shock his parents felt when they saw their first-born brand new baby boy for the first time, only to find he was what the world would consider imperfect and abnormal. A limbless son was not what nurse Dushka Vujicic, and her husband Pastor Boris Vujicic had been expecting. How would their son live a normal happy life? What could he ever do or become when living with such a massive disability? Little did they or anyone else know that this beautiful limbless baby would one day be someone who would inspire and motivate people from all walks of life. God uses Nick to touch lives and bring the hope of Jesus Christ to people across the globe.
Throughout his childhood, Nick dealt not only with the typical challenges of school and adolescence such as bullying and self-esteem issues; but also struggled with depression and loneliness. He constantly questioned why he was different than all the other kids surrounding him; why he was the one born without arms and legs. He wondered what the purpose behind his life was, or if he even had a purpose. According to Nick, the victory over his struggles throughout his journey, as well as the strength and passion he has for life can be credited to his faith in God. His family, friends and the many people he has encountered along the way have also encouraged him.
After school, Nick went on with further study and obtained a double Bachelor’s degree, majoring in Accounting and Financial Planning from Griffith University in Logan, Australia. By the age of 19, Nick started to fulfill his dream of being able to encourage other people and bring them the gospel of Jesus through motivational speaking and sharing his testimony about how God changed his life and gave him a future and a hope. “I found the purpose of my existence, and also the purpose of my circumstance. There’s a purpose for why you’re in the fire.” Nick wholeheartedly believes that there is a purpose in each of the struggles we each encounter in our lives, and that our attitude towards those struggles, along with our faith and trust in the Lord can be the keys to overcoming the challenges we face.
Now at 28 years old, this limbless young man has accomplished more than most people accomplish in a lifetime. Nick recently made the massive move from Brisbane, Australia to California, USA, where he is the President of an international 501c3 non-profit organization; Life Without Limbs. Since his first speaking engagement back when he was 19, Nick has traveled around the world, sharing his story with millions of people, speaking to a range of different groups such as students, teachers, youth, businessmen and women, entrepreneurs, and church congregations of all sizes. He has also told his story and been interviewed on various televised programs worldwide. “If God can use a man without arms and legs to be His hands and feet, then He will certainly use any willing heart!”
Rick D. Nelson
For The Family
By Alan on Mar 07 in Blog tagged abusive, attraction, beliefs, casual, dating, differences, end of relationship, Family, friend, happy, interests, kindness, looking, love, marriage, men, navigating, partner, physical abuse, Proclamation To The World, romantic, serious, shy, single, smiling, spouse, talk, uncomfortable, unhealthy dating, violence, women | Comments Off
Enjoy Being Single
Sometimes singles become too focused on their goal of marriage, and they don’t enjoy their years on their own. While marriage is a righteous goal to be sought after, we should take time to enjoy our journey to reach the goal. Our years as a single can be meaningful and happy ones. You may be familiar with the counsel to become the kind of person you want to marry. In this way, you will attract that sort of person to you. Your time as a single can be a time of personal development and enrichment. Some of the most important areas in which to develop include our emotional and mental health, our self esteem, and our ability to control our impulses (Holman, Larson, & Stahmann, 2000). Remember that we do not need to be perfect in order to have a happy life and a strong marriage. If we are aware of these areas and striving to be our best, that is enough. We should remember that we are worthy of love, and that other people are usually accepting and approachable (Holmes & Johnson, 2009). Taking this perspective will help us build healthy friendships and relationships with others in our lives, a valuable skill that is crucial to life beyond just the dating world.
What to Look For
While the idea of a soul mate is a romantic one, there is not one perfect person out there waiting for you to find him or her. Each of us probably has numerous people in the world with whom we would be very happy. None of them will be our perfect match. Some compromise is inherent in all dating. It is important that we remember this; if we focus too much on finding our perfect soul mate, we may be quicker to write off a dating relationship when conflict arises, instead of trying to work things out (Hall, 2006).
Instead of looking for a soul mate, we should look for someone similar to us in background, values, attitudes, and beliefs about marriage. Research has shown that couples who are similar in these areas tend to have higher marital quality and stability (Holman & Larson, 1994). These areas are key to a person’s identity, which means that when a couple differs in these ways, compromise becomes difficult. When you and your partner are similar in these ways, you will be able to understand one another better because you are coming from the same perspective.
With that said, realize that differences are not necessarily a bad thing. No one is exactly like you, so you shouldn’t be looking for your exact clone. There will definitely be some differences between you and your partner. Remember that compatibility is not just about sameness, but also about complementarity. The Proclamation reminds us that some differences between men and women are built into the divine design of marriage and family stewardships.
While you are searching for your mate, remember that no one is perfect. Be careful not to keep a laundry list of required traits that your mate must have. While there are some things you should not compromise on, such as shared values or kindness, you can be more flexible with other things, like whether someone has your exact taste in movies, whether they are a certain build or have a certain hair color, or whether someone is a master chef.
Sometimes the most difficult part of dating is finding someone who you are attracted to and who is attracted to you as well. Attending social events such as dances, parties or singles religious activities can be a way of meeting other singles. How do you catch someone’s attention? Start by being friendly. Eye contact, a big smile and a confident posture (no slouching!) can make you look more approachable (Cunningham & Barbee, 2010).
Don’t be afraid to approach someone you are attracted to. You don’t need a first class opening line to talk to someone. A simple “Hello” is often more effective than a cheesy pick-up line (Cunningham & Barbee, 2010).
How do you tell if someone is interested in you? Some signs you might notice include someone leaning towards you, smiling, making and keeping eye contact, staying near to you, orienting his or her body towards you, and frequent gesturing (Afifi & Lucas, 2010). Often people have a pessimistic outlook when trying to judge another’s interest. That is, Mike may be too scared of rejection to ask Sally for a date, even though he is interested in her. Meanwhile, Sally assumes Mike must not be interested since he is not asking her, never stopping to think that maybe he is afraid. What is the solution for this? Choose not to let your fear hold you back. You may face rejection, but you may also find that your potential date has been anxiously awaiting you to ask her or him out. You won’t know until you try. Ladies, remember, we live in a time where we are allowed to do the asking too.
If you are shy, the process of attracting someone, approaching him or her, and figuring out whether or not there is mutual interest, may sound like a difficult process to go through. Don’t be afraid to ask your friends for help. Set-ups and blind dates are a great way to skip the stress of finding someone and go straight to a date|just be sure you trust the person setting you up. At social events like parties or dances, consider going with a more social friend, who can act as a bridge for you to meet others, by being the one to start conversations with those you meet.
The dating climate of today may be different from the climate our parents and grandparents faced. Some modern researchers have argued that hanging out has replaced dating, making dating obsolete (Colllins & van Dulmen, 2006). However, dating is a valuable way for teens and adults to come to know someone on a more personal level. Dating can also help you develop a better idea of the traits you want in a future spouse (although those with limited opportunity to date can still make a wise mate selection).
Consider dating to build friendships and have fun, instead of focusing just on finding someone to marry. Casual dating allows dates to be laidback and fun, without commitment attached from the get go. Seeking friendship first results in lower pressure in your dating experience. When you are more relaxed, it is easier to be yourself, have fun, and get to know the other person better. Friendship dating may also lower your chance of facing heartbreak and disappointment, since you are not quickly becoming emotionally involved (McLaughlin, 2007). A romantic relationship may evolve from friendship dating, and its base of friendship may be stronger than a relationship built only on mutual attraction (Barelds and Barelds-Dijkstra, 2007).
Although you decide to date casually, you may still encounter pressure from parents, friends, or even your dates to define your relationships early on, instead of keeping things casual. You cannot control the reactions of people around you, but that does not mean you should avoid casual dating. As with other areas in your life, in dating just do the best you can, even if at times it goes against the norms of modern society.
The Decision to Become Serious
So you have been dating for a little while, and you are wondering whether or not to get serious. How can you know when you are really in love? Noller describes the difference between immature love and mature love (as cited in Holman et al, 2000).
Immature love is possessive, easily provoked to jealousy, and anxious that the relationship might end. A person experiencing immature love may be obsessed with his or her partner. Immature love includes a belief that love is something beyond your control; an external force like Cupid’s arrow causes love. Immature love is selfish and focused on satisfying one’s own needs.
In contrast, mature love involves a lasting passion, a strong desire for companionship, and contentment with the relationship. A person experiencing mature love knows it is something you must decide. Mature love means commitment, trust, sharing, and sacrifice. It allows space for a partner to grow and change.
While we should not have unrealistic expectations for our future spouses, we should also be careful not to settle for an unhealthy relationship. Below are signs of emotional, psychological, and physical abuse in a relationship. If your relationship has some of these characteristics, you should seriously consider ending the relationship. You deserve to be with someone who values you and treats you with respect.
Emotional and Psychological Abuse
Saltzman, Fanslow, McMahon, and Shelley (2002) give the following list of behaviors which constitute emotional and psychological abuse:
[H]umiliating the victim, controlling what the victim can and cannot do, withholding information from the victim, deliberately doing something to make the victim feel diminished or embarrassed, isolating the victim from friends and family, and denying the victim access to money or other basic resources (p. 61).
This list is not comprehensive. Your partner may do or say other things that hurt you psychologically or emotionally. The important thing is to notice how the way you are treated makes you feel.
Domestic violence involves “the intentional use of physical force with the potential for causing death, disability, injury, or harm” (Saltzman et al., 2002, p. 35). Any physical force can qualify as domestic violence, but some examples of violent behaviors include:
[S]cratching, pushing, shoving, throwing, grabbing, biting, choking, shaking, poking, hair-pulling,
slapping, punching, hitting, burning, use of a weapon (gun, knife, or other object), and use of
restraints or one’s body, size, or strength against another person (p. 35).
Some potential warning signs that violence can occur later on include extreme jealousy, controlling behavior, or verbal threats (Choose Respect). If you notice these in your relationship, you might be wise to end it now before things escalate into a worse situation.
If you are in an abusive relationship, you should know that many resources exist to help you:
When a Relationship Ends
If you are the one ending the relationship, remember to be gentle and kind when you do so. Holman et al. (2000) recommend bringing up the subject with kindness, meekness, and love. They also recommend being clear that the relationship is ending, so your partner is not confused or left with false hopes.
If your partner initiates the breakup, take care not to try to force him or her to keep dating you (Holman et al., 2000). Be respectful and allow the relationship to end. Breakups hurt, but don’t lash out and take out your hurt on your ex (Holman et al., 2000).
After the breakup, give yourself time to heal. You may find it helpful to vent your feelings to a friend or family member. Journal writing can also be helpful. Young adults often rely on media (like music, movies, and television shows) to help them process and reflect on their breakups (Hebert & Popadiuk, 2008).
While this isn’t necessarily bad, be careful what media you consume|it may prolong your sadness if you fill your days with depressive media.
Immediately after a breakup, you may find it painful to contemplate dating someone else in the future. Or perhaps you feel that you will not meet another potential mate. Give yourself time to heal from the breakup. How much time you need will vary from person to person. But realize that someday, you will meet someone new. This was not your one and only chance for love. An optimistic attitude that you can find someone else will help you move on (Spielmann, MacDonald, & Wilson, 2009).
Dating can seem a daunting task at times, but never give up! Enjoy your time as a single. Enjoy dating, and consider friendship dating to take off some of the pressure. Do what you can to seek dating success, and don’t worry about the rest. Dating can be a fun experience rather than a stressful one, if you choose to make it so.
Written by Shelece McAllister, Research Assistant, and edited by Jason S. Carroll and Stephen F. Duncan, professors in the School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.
There Is No Better Time Than Right Now To Be Happy.
By Alan on Feb 19 in Blog tagged answers, be wise, children, choices, fame, Family, farmer, fortune, Freedom, God, happiness, happy, home humble, Jesus, life, love, marriage, ponder, poor, pray, rich, spirit, super star, world | 1 Comment
Do you have some important choices to make? Do you want to be rich? Do you want to be happy? What should I do for a living? Where should I live? What does the world think? What does God think? What do I think? What’s this life all about? Who am I? I want to be popular, yet I don’t want to lose my soul.
Dear Father in heaven. Please hear my prayer. I know hard times are coming. I don’t want to miss out at my young age but I want those things that are long lasting and worth having. Who is the one that I should marry? Can I even afford a family? I need some answers Father. What would you have me do? It’s a Great and Dreadful Day! The storms of life are upon us. What’s going to happen to me? Please show me The Way. I trust in my Lord Jesus.