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At the core of the case for marriage is the reality that children need a mother and a father. Divorce, among other problems, threatens a child’s relationship with his or her mother and father. Cohabitation, with its inherent instability, does so as well. Same-sex marriage openly endorses the idea that mothers and fathers are interchangeable and the related idea that children should be able to make do without either of them.
These legal revolutions threaten to deprive children of their rightful opportunity to have a relationship, wherever possible, with their own mother and father. This relationship is crucial for a child’s well-being. Mothers and fathers provide different, but equally valuable and important, contributions to their children. We’ve learned about this primarily from research that shows father absence creates deficits in child well-being.
This does not just mean that a child needs to be around two adults, because deficits persist where there is cohabitation and step-parenting. Research suggests that father absence even has physiological impacts on children. We know less about mother absence because motherless homes are rare, but common sense and experience tell us that there will certainly be sad consequences for children deprived of a relationship with their mother.
In parenting as with other matters, men and women are different. They complement one another. Their children benefit from having both of them around where it’s possible for that to happen. It is a matter of basic fairness that they should have the opportunity to know and be raised by their own mother and father.
William C. Duncan
Director of Sutherland’s Center for Family and Society, and director of the Marriage Law Foundation