By Alan on May 05 in Blog tagged afraid, challenges, children, choices, courage, courageous, destructive behavior, discipline, Father, fear, Holy Ghost, Jesus Christ, liberty, listen, love, marriage, mother, motherhood, needs, Olive Osmond, parenting, peer pressure, permission, physically, pornography, protect, relationships, restraint, Satan, say no, speak up, spirit, spiritually, take a stand, temptations, time, warning | Comments Off

What The World Really Needs . . .

What the world really needs is courageous parenting from mothers and fathers who are not afraid to speak up and take a stand.

 ”MOTHER”

A sacred title referring to a woman who bears or adopts children.

Mothers assist in God’s plan by providing mortal bodies for God’s spirit children.

“Mother” in Scriptures:

           Adam called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all living: Gen. 3:20; ( Moses 4:26; )

            Honor thy father and thy mother: Ex. 20:12; ( Eph. 6:1–3; Mosiah 13:20; )

            Forsake not the law of thy mother: Prov. 1:8;

            A foolish man despises his mother: Prov. 15:20; ( Prov. 10:1; )

            Do not despise your mother when she is old: Prov. 23:22;

            Her children and husband rise up and call her blessed and her husband praises her: Prov. 31:28;

            The mother of Jesus stood by the cross: John 19:25–27;

            Two thousand Lamanite warriors had been taught by their mothers: Alma 56:47; ( Alma 57:21; )

                        Our glorious Mother Eve was among the great and mighty whom the Lord instructed in the spirit world: D&C 138:38–39;

EVE – The First Mother:

Latter-day revelation makes clear that the Fall is a blessing and that Adam and Eve should be honored as the first parents of all mankind.

Courageous Parenting

LARRY R. LAWRENCE

I would like to speak today to the parents of teenagers. Your bright and energetic youth are the future, and for that reason they are a prime target of the adversary. Many of you faithful mothers and fathers are praying for answers to help you guide your children through these important years. There are no perfect parents and no easy answers, but there are principles of truth that we can rely on.

From the book of Joshua. It begins, “Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid” (Joshua 1:9). This phrase from the scriptures would be a good theme for parents as well. In these last days, what the world really needs is courageous parenting from mothers and fathers who are not afraid to speak up and take a stand.

Imagine for a moment that your daughter was sitting on the railroad tracks and you heard the train whistle blowing. Would you warn her to get off the tracks? Or would you hesitate, worried that she might think you were being overprotective? If she ignored your warning, would you quickly move her to a safe place? Of course you would! Your love for your daughter would override all other considerations. You would value her life more than her temporary goodwill.

Challenges and temptations are coming at our teenagers with the speed and power of a freight train. As we are reminded in the family proclamation, parents are responsible for the protection of their children.  That means spiritually as well as physically.

There was a father named Alma who was counseling his wayward son Corianton. Alma loved him enough to speak very directly to the problem. He expressed his deep disappointment that his son had been immoral and explained to him the serious consequences of sin.  Alma said to his son,  “And now the Spirit of the Lord doth say unto me: Command thy children to do good … ; therefore I command you, my son, in the fear of God, that ye refrain from your iniquities” (Alma 39:12). This early intervention by his father became a turning point for Corianton. He repented and served faithfully thereafter (see Alma 42:31; 43:1–2).

Another father from the scriptures, Eli in the Old Testament. Eli served as the high priest in Israel during the childhood of Samuel the prophet. The scriptures explain that the Lord rebuked him severely “because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not” (1 Samuel 3:13). Eli’s sons never did repent, and all of Israel suffered because of their folly. The story of Eli teaches us that parents who love their children cannot afford to be intimidated by them.

Parenting is not a popularity contest. Sometimes we are afraid of our children—afraid to counsel with them for fear of offending them.

Years ago our 17-year-old son wanted to go on a weekend trip with his friends, who were all good boys. He asked for permission to go. I wanted to say yes, but for some reason I felt uncomfortable about the trip. I shared my feelings with my wife, who was very supportive. “We need to listen to that warning voice,” she said.

Of course, our son was disappointed and asked why we didn’t want him to go. I answered honestly that I didn’t know why. “I just don’t feel good about it,” I explained, “and I love you too much to ignore these feelings inside.” I was quite surprised when he said, “That’s OK, Dad. I understand.”

Young people understand more than we realize because they too have the gift of the Holy Ghost and can discern. They are trying to recognize the Spirit when He speaks, and they are watching our example. From us they learn to pay attention to their promptings—that if they “don’t feel good about something,” it’s best not to pursue it.

It’s so important for husbands and wives to be united when making parenting decisions. If either parent doesn’t feel good about something, then permission should not be granted. If either feels uncomfortable about a movie, a television show, a video game, a party, a dress, a swimsuit, or an Internet activity, have the courage to support each other and say no.

I would like to share with you a letter from a heartbroken mother about her teenage son. She explained: “All throughout my son’s teenage years, I worried and tried to stop him from playing violent video games. I talked to my husband and showed him articles in the newspaper that cautioned about these games. But my husband felt it was OK. He said that our son wasn’t out using drugs and that I should stop worrying. There were times that I would hide the controllers, and my husband would give them back. It began to be easier for me to give in … than to fight it. I really feel that gaming is just as addictive as drugs. I would do anything to prevent other parents from going through this experience.”

If your spouse doesn’t feel good about something, show respect for those feelings. When you take the easy way out by saying and doing nothing, you may be enabling destructive behavior.

Parents can prevent a lot of heartache by teaching their children to postpone romantic relationships until the time comes when they are ready for marriage. Prematurely pairing off with a boyfriend or girlfriend is dangerous. Becoming a “couple” creates emotional intimacy, which too often leads to physical intimacy. Satan knows this sequence and uses it to his advantage. He will do whatever he can to keep our youth from being worthy of having a pure and virtuous lives and worthy of sacred marriages.

It is vital that parents have the courage to speak up and intervene before Satan succeeds. President Boyd K. Packer has taught that “when morality is involved, we have both the right and the obligation to raise a warning voice.”

I have always believed that nothing really good happens late at night and that young people need to know what time they are expected to come home.

There is a great deal of wisdom displayed when parents stay up and wait for their children to return home. Young men and women make far better choices when they know their parents are waiting up to hear about their evening and to kiss them good night.

May I express my personal warning about a practice that is common in many cultures. I am referring to sleepovers, or spending the night at the home of a friend.  I discovered that too many youth violated the the law of chastity for the first time as part of a sleepover. Too often their first exposure to pornography and even their first encounter with the police occurred when they were spending the night away from home.

Peer pressure becomes more powerful when our children are away from our influence and when their defenses are weakened late at night. If you have ever felt uneasy about an overnight activity, don’t be afraid to respond to that warning voice inside. Always be prayerful when it comes to protecting your precious children.

Courageous parenting does not always involve saying no. Parents also need courage to say yes to the counsel of modern-day prophets. Our Church leaders have counseled us to establish righteous patterns in our homes. Consider five fundamental practices that have the power to fortify our youth: family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, family dinner together, and regular one-on-one interviews with each child.

It takes courage to gather children from whatever they’re doing and kneel together as a family. It takes courage to turn off the television and the computer and to guide your family through the pages of the scriptures every day. It takes courage to turn down other invitations so that you can reserve that evening for your family. It takes courage and willpower to avoid overscheduling so that your family can be home for dinner.

One of the most effective ways we can influence our sons and daughters is to counsel with them in private interviews. By listening closely, we can discover the desires of their hearts, help them set righteous goals, and also share with them the spiritual impressions that we have received about them. Counseling requires courage.

Try to imagine what the rising generation could become if these five righteous patterns were practiced consistently in every home. Our young people could be like Helaman’s army: invincible (see Alma 57:25–26).

Parenting teenagers in these latter days is a very humbling assignment. Satan and his followers are striving to bring this generation down; the Lord is counting on valiant parents to bring them up. Parents, “Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid” (Joshua 1:9). I know that God hears and will answer your prayers. I testify that the Lord supports and blesses courageous parents.

Several scriptures back up the role of being good parents and proclaim that worthy husbands and wives who have been properly sealed in marriage in a temple of God may fulfill their role as parents throughout eternity.

            Children, obey your parents:Eph. 6:1–3; ( Col. 3:20; )

            Adam and Eve were our first parents:1 Ne. 5:11;

            The cursing may be upon the heads of your parents:2 Ne. 4:6;

            Teach parents that they must repent and be baptized:Moro. 8:10;

            Parents are commanded to teach the gospel to their children:D&C 68:25;

            All children have claim upon their parents:D&C 83:4;

                        The sins of the parents cannot be answered upon the heads of the children:Moses 6:54;

Olive Davis Osmond

A mother’s influence extends from generation to generation.

We honor our mothers and their ever important responsibility to love and nurture our children.  Perhaps the reason we respond so universally to our mothers’ love is because it typifies the love of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

The Lord has placed upon parents the primary responsibility for the spiritual nurturing of their children. Sometimes this responsibility falls to a single parent. My own mother was relatively young when my father died, leaving her alone with four children. But she faced her adversity with faith and courage, promising us that if we stayed on the road of truth, the end would be better than the beginning.

As a rule the mothers are the very best women that live in the world, the best that can be found anywhere. … The good influence that a good mother exercises over her children is like leaven cast into the measure of meal, that will leaven the whole lump; and as far as her influence extends, not only to her own children, but to the associates of her children, it is felt, and good is the result accomplished by it.

You do not know how far your influence extends. A mother that is successful in raising a good boy, or girl, to imitate her example and to follow her precepts through life, sows the seeds of virtue, honor and integrity and of righteousness in their hearts that will be felt through all their career in life; and wherever that boy or girl goes, as man or woman, in whatever society they mingle, the good effects of the example of that mother upon them will be felt; and it will never die, because it will extend from them to their children from generation to generation. And especially do we hope for this in the Gospel of Jesus Christ he, who is the Son of God was indeed no other than the Only Begotten of God in the flesh, and that, therefore, no other than God the eternal Father is his Father and the author of his existence in the world.

Great responsibility rests upon the mothers.

Motherhood lies at the foundation of happiness in the home, and of prosperity in the nation. God has laid upon men and women very sacred obligations with respect to motherhood.

Women that have the same conception of wifehood and motherhood are not exclusively intended for just this life. … We live for time and for eternity. Our affections and our desires are found fitted and prepared to endure not only throughout the temporal or mortal life, but through all eternity.

We shall prosper and upon the earth; for this is our mission, and the work of your mothers and daughters. Great responsibility rests upon you. Upon you depend the training and the direction of the thoughts and the inspiration of the hearts of your children, for they drink into the spirit of their mothers, and the influence of the mother over the children is the most enduring impression that can be made. There is nothing so imperishable as the influence of the mother; that is when she is good and has the spirit of Christ in her heart, and she has brought up her children in the way they should go.

Our mothers, and the mothers of our children, whose hearts are filled with solicitude for the welfare of their children, having had conferred upon them the gift of the Holy Spirit, can go to their secret chambers and bow down before God and commune with Him as no other mothers on earth can do, if they will only observe the principles they have embraced and will live up to their privileges. By the influence that they will thus gain over the hearts of their children they will lead them in the path of righteousness and truth, and bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, in the love of truth, in obedience to His commands, in such a way as others cannot do who are destitute of these privileges, blessings and endowments, so freely conferred upon our mothers.

There can be no genuine happiness separate and apart from the home, and every effort made to sanctify and preserve its influence is uplifting to those who toil and sacrifice for its establishment. Men and women often seek to substitute some other life for that of the home; they would make themselves believe that the home means restraint; that the highest liberty is the fullest opportunity to move about at will. There is no happiness without service, and there is no service greater than that which converts the home into a divine institution, and which promotes and preserves family life.

… The strongest attachments of childhood are those that cluster about the home, and the dearest memories of old age are those that call up the associations of youth and its happy surroundings.

In the home the mother is the principal disciplinarian in early child life, and her influence and discipline determine in a great measure the ability of her children to assume in manhood and womanhood the larger governments in church and state.

I most sincerely hope that our mothers today will guard very zealously and very carefully the lives of their daughters and of their sons. I would if I had it in my power make it possible for all mothers to have the joy and the unspeakable satisfaction of rearing their sons and their daughters above the reproach of men and above the power of sin.

The love of a true mother comes near to being like the love of God.

No love in all the world can equal the love of a true mother. … I have felt sometimes, how could even the Father love his children more than my mother loved her children? It was life to me; it was strength; it was encouragement; it was love that begat love or liking in myself. I knew she loved me with all her heart. She loved her children with all her soul. She would toil and labor and sacrifice herself day and night, for the temporal comforts and blessings that she could meagerly give, through the results of her own labors, to her children. There was no sacrifice of self—of her own time, of her leisure or pleasure, or opportunities for rest—that was considered for a moment, when it was compared with her duty and her love to her children.

When I was fifteen years of age, and called to go to a foreign country to preach the gospel—or to learn how, and to learn it for myself—the strongest anchor that was fixed in my life, and that helped to hold my ambition and my desire steady, to bring me upon a level and keep me straight, was that love which I knew she had for me who bore me into the world.

Only a little boy, not matured at all in judgment, without the advantage of education, thrown in the midst of the greatest allurements and temptations that it was possible for any boy or any man to be subjected to—and yet, whenever these temptations became most alluring and most tempting to me, the first thought that arose in my soul was this: Remember the love of your mother. Remember how she strove for your welfare. Remember how willing she was to sacrifice her life for your good. Remember what she taught you in your childhood. … This feeling toward my mother became a defense, a barrier between me and temptation, so that I could turn aside from temptation and sin by the help of the Lord and the love begotten in my soul, toward her whom I knew loved me more than anybody else in all the world, and more than any other living being could love me.

… The true mother, the mother who has the fear of God and the love of truth in her soul, would never hide from danger or evil and leave her child exposed to it. But as natural as it is for the sparks to fly upward, as natural as it is to breathe the breath of life, if there were danger coming to her child, she would step between the child and that danger; she would defend her child to the uttermost. Her life would be nothing in the balance, in comparison with the life of her child. That is the love of true motherhood for children. …

I have learned to place a high estimate upon the love of mother. I have often said, and will repeat it, that the love of a true mother comes nearer being like the love of God than any other kind of love.

Perhaps the most perfect ideal in the art of healing is the mother whose tender and gracious love asserts itself in taking away the sting of a deserved or an undeserved punishment. How her love heals every wound! How quick her caresses bind up and soothe! The example of her life is the wisdom which love teaches.

There is nothing between me and the heavens that would compensate for doing something that would grieve or hurt my mother. Why? Because she loved me, she would have died for me over and over again, if such were possible, only to have saved me. Why should I grieve, why should I disappoint her? Why should I take a course contrary to her own life and her life’s teachings to me, for she taught me honor, and virtue, and truth, and integrity to the kingdom of God, and she taught me not only by precept but by example.

I cannot express the joy I feel at the thought of meeting my father, and my precious mother, who gave me birth in the midst of persecution and poverty, who bore me in her arms and was patient, forbearing, tender and true during all my helpless moments in the world. The thought of meeting her, who can express the joy?

God bless the mothers.

God bless the mothers and the sons and daughters; and keep our children from the ways of the world, from transgression and from temptation that will lead them astray. May the power of God be over all the household of faith.

I believe that with the Holy Spirit, every mother has the right to know what to do in her family and in her sphere, over her children, in their guidance and direction; and that mother and every mother possessing that spirit has the gift of revelation, the gift of inspiration and the gift of knowledge, which is the spirit of prophecy, the spirit of discernment, a gift of God to them, to govern their households and lead their children in the path of righteousness and truth.

I feel in my heart to bless you, mothers and sisters, with all my heart and with all the power and right that I possess in the priesthood which is after the order of the Son of God. … I have the right and the authority in the priesthood to bless Israel, and to bless those who are faithful, especially; and I feel in my heart to say I bless you.

Joseph F. Smith

Happy Mothers Day!
From The Family

By Alan on Feb 04 in Daily Inspiration tagged attitude, discipline, empathy, Excitement, integrity, leadership, love, purpose, relationships, service humility | Comments Off

Leadership

“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.”John 13:34

Curtis Hastings
For The Family

By Alan on Jul 16 in Blog tagged a sacred time, adjustments being married, Alan's poem, ball parks, bannana splits, being in demand, Big Al, birthdays, BYU Cheerleader, chores, Christmas Eve, clean their rooms, consequences, cousins, deprive something, discipline, eight sons, family traditions, gives me order, grandparents, His Gal and His Pals, home, interview, large family, life began after I fell n love with you, live very normally, measure up, moment's notice, mother, Nativity set and story, non-profit charity, odd hours, One Heart, pajamas, people watching, plays violin, responsibility, reunions, ride horses, schedules, sent to room, soccer games, Suzanne Osmond, temple ordinance workers, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, The World, time for dinner, time-out, traditions, traveling, Valentines Day, water and snow skiing | 6 Comments

Today is Suzanne’s and my 38th Wedding Anniversary!  I repost this article which I wrote a while back about how Suzanne and I met and how the Lord brought us together to create an eternal marriage and family.   Oh how I love my wife Suzanne!

An interview with Suzanne Osmond given several
years ago as she was raising her family.

Suzanne was born on May 11, 1953 in Payson, Utah. She is the third oldest of seven children born to Kenneth J. Pinegar and Ruth Richardson Pinegar. She married Alan Osmond on July 16, 1974 and together have eight sons.

As a young woman, her favorite sports were water and snow skiing. She also loved to ride horses.  Suzanne is also a very good piano player and Alan really loves to hear her play.  She is also playing violin in a local orchestra.

She was really active in school. She was a baton twirler and a cheerleader for her high school band and also a BYU cheerleader.

Suzanne is 5’5″ tall and she has blue eyes and blonde hair.

Suzanne remembers, “Seven days before they were married, Alan sent Suzanne seven red roses with a note that said:

“For every day there is a rose,

For every rose there is time;

And when they’ve all been counted for,

I’ll come and make you mine.”

Isn’t that romantic?”

While in Europe, Alan and Suzanne celebrated being married for one month by sending a postcard to themselves at their new home in Provo, Utah telling each other how much in love they were and then signing it “Big Al and His Gal.” After having several sons, they have also added more words to it that reads,  ”Big Al, His Gal, and His Pals.”

The first time Suzanne saw Alan perform was the day  they were married!  She sat in the audience with her “mouth wide open.”   Afterwards she called her mother to tell her about it.  All she could say was, “I’m so amazed, I can’ t even talk!”

Suzanne said, “There’s never a dull moment being married to Alan. Alan is one who is always busy and involved doing all kinds of projects. He has such a creative mind. Its fun to watch him create and see his creations come about.

I’m a very structured person and like my schedules. Alan has taught me to be more spontaneous and just flow with what’s happening or with what his ideas might be. Being married to an Osmond, I’ve been able to do a lot of traveling and see the world, and experience things in that realm that I never had before. I’ve met interesting people too. I remember when we were in the Middle-East and able to meet with Mrs. Sadat. We also met with Prime Minister Begin, President Reagan and other people. That’s been interesting for me, to be in circles where there have been influential and important people. To be able to meet them and see them first-hand.

The toughest adjustment to being married into a family that’s in the entertainment field is being in demand a lot.  You have to be able to pick up and go at a moment’s notice sometimes. The spontaneity has been the thing that I’ve probably had to adjust most to and learn to accept the most. They sometimes keep odd hours, which has been another thing with which to adjust. It’s also having people who are probably watching every move that you make, and feeling like there are always eyes observing everything that you do. You really feel an obligation to set a good example at all times.

I think each one of our boys has the knowledge that there are a lot of people watching what they do and expect a certain standard out of them. So, I think that has actually helped. They have more than just their parents expecting them to measure up to those standards. There are a lot of other people who are leaning on them and watching them. They feel that and they are aware of that responsibility.

Being the mother of eight boys is very, very busy. Boys are very loud and very physical and always hungry! So you’re always running to keep up with them and making sure their stomachs are full. We’ve spent many, many hours at ballparks and soccer games. I don’t know what it would be like to have a daughter. I just can’t imagine that because our home is so boy-oriented.

As a family, we live very normally at home. Our boys do chores. They come home and do their homework and help out with younger brothers. They have to get up, make their beds, and clean their rooms just like any other teenager. It’s the same kind of normal life around this household as what I grew up with so I don’t think there’s anything different here than any other home.”

How do you handle discipline?

Suzanne explains, “There are always consequences for everything that we do. There are good consequences for good things and not-so-good consequences for when we do things that are wrong. The best thing is to take away something, deprive them of an activity or something they want to have. It makes them stop and think. For the little boys, usually they’re tired and so they are sent to their room and have to sit on their beds. A lot of times I’ll have books there that they can sit, read and calm down; think about what’s going on. A lot of people refer to that as a time-out period and I think it helps to take that time to let tempers settle down and think about what the problem is and find solutions.

It is important to manage your time with a large family.  That’s why I like schedules. If I don’t have a schedule then I get frustrated. I have to have order and know what the next move is going to be so that I can plan. You have to control your time. It’s the only way you can get through without having the chaos that can come so easily. With a lot of people going a lot of different directions, that can happen very easily. There’s usually a set time for dinner that we like to gather for every evening as a family. That’s an important time and a sacred time in our home, to have dinner together. That keeps me on track. It gives me order in my life.“

What are some of your family traditions?

“We love birthdays. We always celebrate birthdays and make it really fun for the person who is having the birthday. My mother always calls on the telephone with a certain song she always played for us when I was growing up. Now she does it with the grandkids on their birthdays.

Christmas is probably our very favorite season of all. On Christmas Eve, everyone gets to open one gift and it’s always pajamas so they always look nice for the family videos the next morning. We always read the Christmas story and have a Nativity set that we use as we tell that story. Alan started a tradition several years ago of having banana splits on Christmas Eve, so that’s the last thing we do is have banana splits. Then everybody hustles off to bed so that Santa can come. On Christmas morning, the kids get up and they’re filmed walking into Christmas for the first time and all the excitement with that.

We also have family reunions throughout the year and that’s always fun to see everyone and catch up on brothers and sisters and cousins.”

Currently . . .

Now, after Alan and I have spent 38 wonderful married years together, we have 8 sons, 7 daughters-in-law and have become grandparents to 20 grandchildren with 2 on the way!  We continue having family nights with many of the same family traditions today and we love life.

Several years ago, we started a non-profit charity called One Heart for Strengthening Families.  One Heart truly describes the kind of marriage and family that Alan and I share together and know that our family will be together for all eternity .”

Alan and Suzanne serve as temple ordinance workers in one of the temples of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.”

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Alan & Suzanne Osmond
For The Family

 

By Alan on Nov 19 in Blog tagged burglar sues victim, Bye, common sense, criminals treatment, discipline, Discretion, doing the job, losing a dear old friend, more than you earn, obituary, Reason, regulations, Responsibilit, trust, truth | Comments Off

Losing A Dear Old Friend!

A GRAVE MISTAKE!

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

“I will never forget thy precepts: for with them thou hast quickened me.” Ps. 119: 93

Connie Butts
For The Family

By Alan on May 20 in Daily Inspiration tagged character, commitment, discipline, The Family, theFamily, what made you sccessful, works | Comments Off

A secret of successful people . . .

“It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through”

“And for this cause have I been lifted up; therefore, according to the power of the Father I will draw all men unto me, that they may be judged according to their works.” 3 Ne. 27: 15

“A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.”  David Brinkley

Kirk Matson
For The Family

By Alan on Mar 10 in Blog tagged discipline, labor, teaching children, work | Comments Off

“An important element of doing the best we can as parents is to provide loving but firm discipline. If we do not discipline our children, society may do it in a way that is not to our liking or our children’s. Part of disciplining children is to teach them to work. President Gordon B. Hinckley has said: ‘One of the greatest values . . . is the virtue of honest work. Knowledge without labor is profitless. Knowledge with labor is genius’ (Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley [1997], 704).”