By Alan on Mar 17 in Blog tagged caring, caring involvement, child's potential, clear standards, family life, father's primary responsibilities, fatherhood, fathering, governance of the family, heavenly parents, high ideals for men, Honor thy Father, influence, Key principles and practices, left to man's wife, moral behavior, nurturing environment, power in righteousness, primary responsibility, Sean E. Brotherson, son or daughter, teaching, the Church, the live of their children, the school, worthy of honor | Comments Off

Key Principles and Practices in Fathering

“Honor Thy Father”

From SINAI long ago rang a sacred invitation from  the God iof Israel.  “Honour thy father and thy mother”  (Exodus. 20: 12).

There is much to consider in this invitation and divine command.  A perspective of fathering that embraces the divine injunction to “honor thy father” suggests a set of high ideals for men in family life.  Indeed if men wish to receive honor in their efforts as fathers, then it is essential that they be worthy of honor.

Clear standards of moral behavior and caring involvement defines a father’s primary responsibilities in family life.  The teaching and governance of the family must not be left to a man’s wife alone, to society, to school, or even the Church.  To father a child is more than a biological act or fulfillment of a social role.  To father a child is to accept a divine calling, a moral stewardship, and a lasting commitment across generations.  A father’s calling is an eternal calling from which he is never released.

Fathers have the ability, for good or ill,
to exercise great power and influence in
the lives of their children and families.

Power alone, however, is not what a father truly needs, nor does he need only the ability to influence and direct a child’s life, thoughts, and feelings.  A father needs the power to bless his children.  Men do not bless by the mere exercise of power.  They bless only by the exercise of power in righteousness.  To be a holy figure in the life of a child, in the life of a family, requires an association with powers that exist beyond our own mortal abilities.  Power in righteousness comes only as we associate ourselves through prayer and sacred living with the powers of heaven.  “The powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness.”  D&C 121: 36

The importance of fatherhood and in shaping men and children is linked to our

Heavenly Father’s divine plan of happiness.  The divine pattern for human development establishes that family life is the primary context for the unfolding of our eternal potential.  The journey that each child of God undertakes in the plan of salvation is a developmental journey, a journey of progression, designed to help us acquire spiritual knowledge and character virtues that allow us to grow toward perfection.

Fathers may engage differing aspects of care and involvement at different developmental periods in a child’s life, such as playmate and nurturer during infancy and interpreter of the outside world during middle childhood.  The importance of fathers nurturing and supporting each child’s potential through each phase is affirmed; that the bonds of parents and children are revealed “in family relationships, in attributes and virtues developed in a nurturing environment, and in loving service.”  As fathers practice these essential principles in their lives and relationships, they fulfill their own potential and guide the rising generation toward achieving the divine potential that resides in each of us as “a beloved spirit son or daughter of Heavenly parents.”

Sean E. Brotherson
“Successful Marriages and Families”
For The Family

Are you getting our FREE NEWSLETTERS?  CLICK HERE!

By Alan on Sep 13 in Daily Inspiration tagged caring, Grandfather, grandson, screaming child, shopping | Comments Off

THE  CARING GRANDFATHER

A  woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson.

It’s obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child  screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles.

Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying  in a controlled  voice, ”Easy, William, we won’t be long . . . Easy,  boy.”

Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, ”It’s okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we’ll be  out of here.  Hang in there, boy”. 

At the checkout, the  little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice, ”William, William, relax buddy, don’t get upset.  We’ll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William.”

Very  impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his  groceries and the boy into the car.

She said to the elderly  gentleman, “It’s none of my business, but you were amazing in there.

I  don’t know how you did it.  That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying  things would be okay.

William is very lucky to have you as his  grandpa.”

“Thanks,” said the grandfather,

“but I’m William . . .

That spoiled kid’s name is Kevin!”

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Prov. 22: 6 

Marlon Snow
For The Family

By Alan on Mar 08 in Blog tagged be calm, caring, close, concerned, consistent, early years, honest, limits, open language, parents, praise, protect, relationships, supportive, teenagers, teens, watch | Comments Off

In an era of increased drug use, teenage pregnancy and youth suicide, it’s little wonder that most parents are very concerned about their teens. Very often they ask: “How can I protect my teens from these things?” An important key is to develop close, caring relationships with teenagers.

Teenagers who have close relationships with their parents are less likely to use drugs, abuse alcohol or become pregnant out of wedlock. These teens are more likely to adopt the beliefs and values of their parents. Teens who are close to their parents resist peer pressure better and are less likely to commit crimes.

How do we develop close relationships with our teens? Here are some ideas from experts in adolescent development.

Be honest. Adolescents are developing their thinking abilities. They want to know the reasons for everything, and they expect consistency from their parents. They are critical of the parent who is dishonest or two-faced.

Be open. Adolescents want to be able to talk with their parents, but they also need their privacy and independence. The adult-adolescent conversation needs to be two-sided, with both people sharing their thoughts and feelings. Adolescents want to know if, as adults, we are struggling over the same concerns they are. If we are doing most of the talking, we’re talking too much.

When it is your turn to speak, watch your language. Sometimes we talk to teens in ways that say “you would be OK if . . .” or “we will love you more if . . .”( . . . you go to church, clean your room, get good grades, etc.).

We order, warn, nag, threaten and preach to our teens to try to teach them to be more responsible and more sensible. However, this can backfire and actually encourage our teens to be less responsible and less sensible. Teens are more likely to be responsible and follow our wishes if they feel accepted. Speaking politely conveys acceptance. For example, we can say, “I’m sorry to interrupt you, but . . .” or “I realize you may not want to, but it would help me so much if . . .”

Also, catching teens doing the things we want and praising them for it fosters feelings of acceptance. For example, instead of praising them for “a nice report card”, say “You’ve done very well in art and science. You must really like those subjects.”

Be calm. Adolescents like to try out their arguing skills. If you get angry and yell or scream, this is an ideal time for them to practice. Avoid getting into power struggles and arguments with your adolescent. If you talk calmly, your child can see you as in control of the situation.

Set clear and consistent limits. Younger children abide by the rules set down by the parents just because they are rules. Adolescents are more likely to question the importance of the rule and why there has to be one at all. You should respect your child’s need to have the rule explained. Take time to explain why this rule is set and allow time for negotiation of certain rules such as curfew. However, don’t hesitate to say when something is not open to negotiation, such as riding in a car with kids who have been drinking or taking drugs.

Remember that growing up means becoming independent. In situations where your child’s well-being is not in danger, you may need to accept that your child makes choices you wouldn’t have made. Or that your child has behaved in ways that you don’t approve. That’s independence. Your child may temporarily dress weird or follow a strange hairstyle trend. Your teen is showing individualism and independence from you. Try to overlook some of the outside appearances and concentrate on the inner strengths of your teenager. When teens plan a party, leave the planning to them and don’t interfere unless asked or unless the plans become unacceptable to you.

Be supportive. Independence does not mean isolation. It means establishing a different kind of relationship with parents, not terminating it. Almost all adolescents say their parents are the most important people in their lives. Adolescence is a time when you are needed–when teens are trying to figure out who they really are.

No matter how frustrated you may feel at times, your teen needs you as a base of support, as much now as during the early years of life.

For Further Reading:

The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting
by Laurence Steinberg

You and your adolescent: A parent’s guide for ages 10-20
by Laurence Steinberg

Additional Websites

Children, Youth, and Families Education and Research Network (CYFERNet) - Search Parenting of Teens

Real Families Real Answers
For The Family

By Alan on Dec 19 in Blog tagged caring, charity, Family, giving, heart, Jesus, neighbor, non-profit, One, One Heart, others, pure, purpose, selfless, Serve, serving, together | Comments Off

Justin Osmond is of One Heart in helping the Deaf.

Suzanne and I formed a non-profit Charity to help “Strengthen Families”.  Want to help us?

One Heart Foundation does NOT help, fix, or prevent heart attacks or other heart diseases! But, we mend broken hearts and contrite spirits and help change those with heardened hearts into becoming more caring, loving, and filled with unified giving service and purpose.

We “Strengthen Families Spiritually” to become a “pure hearted people.

One Heart Foundation is a public 501(c)(3) non-profit organization for “Strengthening Families”! There are many ‘ways’ and causes to help The Family.

Our mission is to provide ‘ways’ to help families and to work with other good charities and organizations by helping raise funds and awareness for worthwhile causes. By working together with others and their particular service(s) they offer, we can become more affective, and “of One Heart” in purpose.

CHARITY:

Charity is “the pure love of Christ,” or “everlasting love” (Moroni 7:47; 8:17). The prophet Mormon taught: “Charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things” (Moroni 7:45; see also 1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

Jesus Christ is the perfect example of charity. In His mortal ministry, He always “went about doing good,” teaching the gospel and showing tender compassion for the poor, afflicted, and distressed (see Matthew 4:23; Mark 6:6; Acts 10:38). His crowning expression of charity was His infinite Atonement. He said, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). This was the greatest act of long-suffering, kindness, and selflessness that we will ever know.

The Savior wants all people to receive His love and to share it with others. He declared to His disciples: “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:34-35). In relationships with family members and others, followers of Christ look to the Savior as their example and strive to love as He loves, with unfailing compassion, patience, and mercy.

SERVICE:

The Savior is the best example of service. Even though He came to earth as the Son of God, He humbly served all those around Him. He declared, “I am among you as he that serveth” (Luke 22:27).

The Savior used a parable to teach the importance of service. In the parable, He told of His return to the earth in His glory and of separating the righteous from the wicked. To the righteous in this parable He says: “Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me” (Matthew 25:34-36).

The righteous, who are puzzled by this declaration, ask: “Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?” (Matthew 25:37-39).

“World of Giving”   By: Alan and David Osmond

Download with Vixy | Convert YouTube to MP3

VISIT:

One Heart Foundation

Some PROJECTS.

The Family Awards